Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

22 - Full of surprises

As the weeks go by, we get used to quite a comfortable life at the Sanctuary. Now that we're all together, have regular access to food and shelter and don't have to worry about walkers trying to eat us all the time, we're all in much better spirits than we've been since we left the camp. Working in laundry is not a job I would have chosen for myself, but getting up each day to go to work has actually created a sense of normalcy that I didn't think I'd ever experience again. If you can forget that we're all living in a factory and the world around us is filled with walking dead people, life is actually a lot like it was before.

One thing that you can't exactly call normal is my 'relationship', for lack of a better word, with Negan. As agreed upon, I see him every Wednesday, but he doesn't seem to get enough of me, so he calls me to his room on other days as well. Sometimes he even invites me for dinner. I don't like that I had to make this deal with him. But to be honest, it's actually quite pleasant to spend time with him most of the time. He can be surprisingly sweet.

Like the other day. I woke up in the middle of the night from a horrible nightmare again. It was a nightmare I've had before, but not the usual one about Zachary. Just before everything broke down completely, the news on the screens at the airport showed us that they started to bomb cities all over the world in an attempt to stop the outbreak. They switched from burning city to burning city. And then to London. My home. I watched my city collapse into rubble and burst into flames. I don't know if my family was there at the moment. Last thing I heard is that they would flee the city. But ever since I saw it, I've had this reoccuring dream.

We are all in my house. The tiny apartment with rent that was way too high, where I lived with my boyfriend, Jason. He's there in my dream. So are my parents and my brother and his girlfriend. We're crowded around the table that is too small for the amount of people. We're having dinner, we're happy. But then there's a noise. A strange sound outside, so I get up to the window to see what it is. And the city is on fire. I always wonder how it could be that we didn't hear the bombs sooner. I want to warn the others but when I turn around they are all burning. Flames are eating away their clothes, their hair, their skin. I scream and I want to put the fire out, but I'm stuck to the ground. There's nothing I can do but watch as they go up in flames before me. When the fire is burnt up, they are charred corpses around the table. But the nightmare isn't over. Because the dead don't stay dead. Slowly they start to move and they come for me. Their faces are unrecognizable as they come closer and closer until they sink their teeth into me and they tear me apart.

Needless to say, I don't sleep again after that. I just stare into the dark until the morning alarm finally goes off and I get up to go to work, exhausted and with a terrible headache. My family is on my mind the entire day. I miss them. I miss my home. I just want to get this day over with and try to get some more sleep. Hopefully without any nightmares this time. I'm relieved when the work day is finally over, but then, to my despair, Kenny stops me as I'm about to make my way to dinner.

'Negan wants to see you tonight', he tells me. As my direct supervisor he is often the Saviour that tells me when Negan wants to see me on other days than Wednesday. But I just can't do it tonight.

'No', I reply. Kenny raises his eyebrow.

'No? What do you mean, no?'

'What do you think it means?' I say a little annoyed, before I remember I have to be respectful to my superiors. Kenny starts to open his mouth and by the look on his face he's clearly about to tell me off. So I decide to switch up my tone.

'I'm sorry', I say quickly. 'I meant, I don't feel well. I need to get some sleep. Will you tell him that?'

'Are you sick?'