Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

57 - Thank you for being my friend

I'm on my way to visit Nikolai when the smell of cigarettes tells me I'm not alone in the staircase. I slow my step and find Sherry leaning against the wall, smoking. I haven't spoken to her since that night I went to visit her.

'Hey', I greet her, not sure what else to say, running into her so unexpectantly.

'Hi', she says, before taking another drag of her cigarette. I stop across from her and lean against the banister.

'Are you going to see Negan?' she asks.

Am I imagining it, or is there a bit of an edge to her tone? Does she know about what happened the other day? The thought alone makes me look away for a moment to hide my blush. I never very would have had sex with Negan again if I didn't think I was leaving. The thought of never seeing him again just took me back to how it felt to be with him. But for now, we're still here. And looking at Sherry's solemn face is a painful reminder of the awful things that Negan does.

'No', I say, a little defensively. 'I'm visiting Nikolai. He's sick.'

'Of course', she says, switching up her tone. 'I heard. Is he doing better?'

'Yes', I nod. 'Very slowly, but he's making progress.'

'Good. Do you want one?'

She offers me a cigarette and, after a short moment of hesitation, I take it. But as she lights it and I lean back against the banister again, I feel a little awkward. I'm at a complete lack of words. What should I ask her? How have you been? Horrible, of course. What have you been doing? Besides having to play Negan's wife?

Negan surprised me when he told me he was letting me go. And he was comforting when I told him that Nikolai was sick. He is capable of being kind and merciful. But what he's doing to Sherry is unforgivable. I'm not sure how far he takes things with her. If he actually makes her sleep with him or that he just makes it look like it to rub it in Dwight's face. Another power tactic to show us all how much he owns us. I don't dare to ask her.

'I heard Simon tried to come on to you', she says suddenly, breaking the tension.

'Yeah', I say half-laughing, happy to have something to talk about, even if it isn't my favourite subject. 'Now that was uncomfortable.'

'I can imagine. He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?'

'No', I say, taking another drag of the cigarette. 'He threatened to put Kieran at risk, but the funny thing is, he actually ended up saving his life.'

'He must have been real happy about that?' Sherry says, raising an eyebrow.

'Thrilled, I imagine. These men around here really take things to another level, don't they? Before all this, my worst experience with a man was this guy who took me out to dinner at Mac Donald's and actually asked for his 12 pounds back when I wouldn't go home with him.'

Sherry laughs. I'm glad to see she still can in all of this.

'So what's been your worst date? Let's say before the world went to shit', I ask her.

'Oh, it was worse than Mac Donald's.'

Before we know it, we've both smoked two more cigarettes sharing stories from our past like we used to. It may not be good for our lungs, but I am glad to have this opportunity to talk to her. I've missed her and I've been worried. It's clear that she's still not doing well, but hopefully our talk has helped lift her mind off things at least for a little while.

So I'm in a pretty good mood when I join Katarina and Nikolai in Carson's office. Nikolai is doing better too. Although he's still very tired, the fever has mostly subsided and he's awake for much longer stretches of time. He's pretty active right now and greets me with a big smile. We spend some time talking and doing crossword puzzles. I've got plenty of time, since it's my day off. But just when I'm about to head down to lunch, Negan appears in the doorway. With an unexpected visitor.