Too Good to be Bad | Negan |

48 - There's no way out of this

'Do you think you can help me talk to her?'

'Jesus, Pierce, you must be the only one coming up with new ideas to break the rules after what we all saw yesterday.'

'Exactly. He'll never expect it.'

Derek shakes his head, but chuckles.

'Unbelievable', he mutters under his breath. Derek's about to start a night shift guarding Negan's hallway again, but he has some free time left, so we're taking a stroll on the grounds. It's a nice day and we can both use some fresh air after everything that's happened in the past few days. 'So can you?' I ask again.

'I don't know, Lara. Negan's ordered Sherry to stay in that damn room for now and he's made it very clear that you are not allowed anywhere near his hallway. For real this time. You must have really pissed him off when you asked him to change his mind about the Tina-situation.'

'Yeah, I don't think that's what pissed him off...'

Derek looks at me suspiciously. 'What else did you do?'

'He came to talk to me, the day after the interrogation. And I may have lost my cool and called him a psychopath.'

'Oh my God.'

'A narcissistic, egocentric, power-hungry psychopath, actually. Or something like that.'

'You got a death wish or something? I could just shoot you right here and now, get it over with.'

'Wouldn't that take all the fun out of it?' I joke, nudging him with my shoulder.

He laughs and we walk in silence for a moment. It's nice to spend time with Derek. At least that's one man in my life without any drama.

'I gotta get going', he says to my disappointment as we watch the sun disappear behind the treetops. 'I'll see what I can do, okay? It would have to be when Negan's not there and when there's another guard I trust. Or that I can buy off.'

'If it's not possible, it's not possible', I tell him. 'I don't want to get you into trouble.'

'Bullshit, you're always getting me into trouble, troublemaker. But it's okay, I like being on your team. Lara and Derek, also known as Double Trouble.'

'You're such a dork', I laugh, but to my displeasure, my laugh once again turns into an unflattering snort.

'Who's the dork now?' Derek grins. Then he winks at me. 'Catch you later, Pierce.'

---

It takes a couple of days, but finally Derek leans over to me at dinner and whispers: 'Tonight.'

'Really?'

'Yes. Negan's out and I'm guarding with Theo. He won't tell. Be at the top of the staircase at 22:30. Just before curfew there'll be less people around.'

'Okay.' My heart pounds with nerves and excitement. I have to talk to Sherry, I can't imagine how she's feeling. But I can not get in trouble, so I'll have to be careful.

'You can't stay long, you'll have to be back in your room before curfew.'

'I will be.'

---

Derek was right, the halls are mostly empty. There are some people here and there, but I have every right to walk around, so they don't bother me. Still, I feel like I'm looking guilty as hell, so I make my way to the staircase as quickly as possible without running. Derek's waiting for me by the door.

'Good, you made it.' He starts to walk into the direction of the room where Negan's wives hang out as soon as I reach him.

'Some of his wives are there, not all of them. Some are in their own rooms, he's not here anyway. I don't think they'll tell him, they hate him more than any of us. Sherry's waiting for you, I told her you were coming.'

'Is she all right?' I ask a little breathlessly, trying to keep up with him.

'Absolutely not', he says as we turn the corner. There's light and music coming from the room, just like there was when Negan showed it to me all those months ago. 'I'll warn you when it's time to go.'

I nod and make my way to the door opening. I notice Frankie's bright hair first, she's on the couch with Tanya. They both look up when I appear in the doorway. Another woman is sitting at table, reading a book, but I don't see Sherry.

'She's over there', Frankie says, nodding towards the corner of the room to my left. I turn and find Sherry getting up from an armchair She's all dolled up and prettier than ever, but the sadness in her eyes breaks my heart.

'Hi, Lara.'

I don't say anything but take her into my arms and hug her tightly. She hugs me back and I can feel her shoulders shaking as she cries into my hair.

'Oh my God, Sherry are you all-', I catch myself before I finish the sentence. Of course she's not all right. 'I'm so sorry', I say instead. 'About Tina. About all of it.'

Shakily, she breaks apart from my embrace and looks at me with wet, red eyes.

'It's my own fault', she says between her tears. 'I did this.'

'Don't say that', I tell her. 'Of course it's not your fault.'

Sherry shakes her head distractedly and hugs herself.

'It is. It was my idea.'

'It's Negan's fault', I say angrily. 'He made it impossible for you to buy the meds. He must have done all this on purpose.'

'D didn't want to come back', she continues. 'I made him. Did you see... did you see what he did to him?'

'I did...' I say quietly. I haven't been able to get it out of my brain ever since. I don't know what to say to her. Like Dwight, she looks absolutely heartbroken. Or just broken.

'We'll find a way out of this', I tell her. 'He can't just make you be his wife forever, all of this is-'

'There's no way out of this', she interrupts me defeatedly. 'This was the only way to keep him alive. We have to do what he wants, or it will be worse.'

I just stare at her stupidly. What is there to say? She's right, we both know it.

'I'm sorry we left without saying anything', she says, breaking the silence. 'We wanted to say goodbye, of course, but we thought you might get into trouble if you knew anything.'

'You were right, he had Simon interrogate us the next day. Sherry, I...' I swallow, it's been weighing on me terribly that I broke her trust. 'I told Simon about the house. I'm so sorry, he held a knife to Alex's throat and I just-'

'It's fine', Sherry says. 'We didn't go there.'

'Still, I'm so sorry', I say again.

'Don't be', she says resolutely 'You tried to change his mind, I never should have asked you, but I'm so grateful.'

I smile at her weakly. I want to take her out of here, bring her to my room, hug her until some of the pain in her eyes goes away. But already, Derek appears in the doorway.

'You gotta go now to make it back in time', he says.

I turn back to look at Sherry and feel my own eyes filling up now.

'I don't want to leave you here', I say shakily.

A soft hand touches my shoulder and I turn around to see Frankie and Tanya behind me.

'We'll take care of her', Frankie says. 'You have to go now.'

I step forward and wrap Sherry into another embrace.

'Thank you for coming', she says.

'Don't let him see you cry', I tell her.

'I won't.'

Then I have to let her go. I take one last blurry look at her through my tears before I turn around and leave her behind. Derek holds my hand as he walks me back to the staircase. I make it back to my room before curfew. But I don't sleep that night.