in my head

Chapter 7

Stepping into Central Park felt surreal but at the same time it was just a park. I think about things a lot and right now I'm thinking how often me and everyone hype things up to be this big exciting thing when in reality it's never like that. However, I couldn't lie this was a beautiful place.

"What are you thinking about?" Timothee looked deep into my eyes.

I was going to lie and just say nothing but I decided to be honest with him.

"Just how I always imagine things to be different to how they are" I glanced over at him knowing that didn't make any sense. "I probably don't make any sense" I half laughed.

"I get it" he smile a reassuring smile like he knew I was overthinking what I just said. "Like when you expect to feel a certain way but when the time comes you don't" I loved listening to him explain things. He always spoke with so much care.

"Yeah exactly" looking down.

"So is Central Park not as good as what you expected" he didn't look disappointed just like he really wanted me to answer honestly.

"It's beautiful of course but-"

"But it's just grass" he laughed.

"Yeah" I smiled.

We walked over to a quiet spot behind some trees and we sat on the grass. The air was warm and the breeze soothed my ears as it passed through the trees. Laying down on the grass and looking up at the blue summers sky, I felt free. I hadn't noticed Timothee was staring at me as he lay leaning on his arm.

"What?" a smile forming.

"Nothing?" He said in a silly child like voice.

I looked back up at the sky and the trees and closed my eyes. Hearing grass rustling beside me, I turned my head to the side. Timothee was now laying next to me looking up at the sky.

"When I was younger me and my nana use to make pictures out of the clouds" I explained.

He turned to look at me, his perfect face inches from mine. This was the closest I'd ever been to him. I could feel his breath on my face he was that close. And I couldn't help but stare into his green eyes.

"I've never done that before?"

"Here I'll show you. See that one there" I pointed up to a small cloud. "That one looks like a turtle"

"Wait I see it" the smile on his face couldn't be any bigger.

We did this for about half and hour until there was no longer any clouds.

The breeze became strong and blew my hair. Before I could remove the strands of hair strung across my face, Timothee's hand reached across and swept them back so that they were entwined into the grass. His hand grazed the skin on my cheek making goosebumps rise all over my body. He continued to play with my hair while I was laying down and him propping himself up with his arm.

The next thing I knew he was lowering himself down to my face and my heart was racing, no pounding against my chest. My breath quickened and I actually thought I couldn't breath for a minute, until he leant in further his lips inches from mine. I was locked onto his eyes and could feel myself swimming in a green pool.

He waited, hovering over me like he was waiting for my permission. I grabbed his hair and pulled him down towards me, our lips colliding. Every part of me tingled and exploded all at the same time. Timothee's hand caressed my hair as he continued kissing me. I never wanted this to stop, I wanted to stay here forever but we couldn't. I leant away and his eyes scanned my face.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Um yeah I just- I uh...I need to get back" I jumped up and could see the confusion in his face, but what broke my heart was I could see the guilt in his eyes, like he thought it was his fault.

"I'm sorry. This isn't your fault I just need to go" I said, tears welling in my eyes.

I walked away quickly. When I got back to my apartment I burst into tears, my heart was racing and I felt as though I couldn't breath. I tried calming myself downing, telling myself it was all in my head. I collapsed on my coach and fell asleep only waking to a knock at my door.