in my head

Chapter 40

My alarm rang through my ears and I immediately turned it off not wanting to get up. Then I realised it was my birthday and that seemed to get my mind working. Looking out and seeing blue sky and thin long clouds spiralling I felt happy. The weather often affected my mood which is why I loved summer so much. Even if I was feeling sad something as simple as a warm breeze could make me feel some kind of happiness.

Shower, makeup, outfit, music and coffee was what my morning consisted of. I did a baby blue wing on my eyes and put little rhinestones along the edge. To match I wore a baby blue tank top with a denim skirt and converse.

"He-" my sister stopped mid sentence when I she came through the door.

"Oh my god you look and your makeup why can't I look like you" All her sentences seemed to roll into one.

"Ok chill" I laughed.

"Happy birthday Lucie" my mum said giving me a hug.

She handed me a glittery blue bag.

"I wonder what your favourite colour is?" Katie laughed.

They all sat on the couch while I sat on the floor opposite them by the window. I often sat with my back leaning against the huge pane of glass, watching the world from my little living space.

This was the part I hated, opening presents in front of people. I don't know why because they always got me perfect gifts not that it's about gifts anyway but it was just something I hated.

Unwrapping the pale blue paper I held in my hands a pair of silver hoop earrings with a small diamond in the middle. I then opened a box with pair of blue converse inside. There was another present at the bottom it wasn't big but kind of heavy. My face lit up because I'd wanted one since I was a kid.

"A video camera" I gasped as I opened it.

"I know you've always wanted one and I thought if you go anywhere you could use it" my mum smiled then looked at my sister.

"Thank you, I love everything you got me as always" hugging my mum and then my sister.

I put in my new earrings and switched my black converse to blue.

"Is Timothee coming over?" My mum asked.

"Um yeah he should be...I haven't heard from him yet" checking my phone.

We left my apartment as my mum had made lunch plans. I told Timothee I was going out with my mum and sister but I hadn't heard anything from him.

We sat outside this little Italian restaurant down a quiet street. I was so happy, genuinely happy sitting here with them both.

My mum looked at her phone then smiled before paying.

"We need to go back to the hotel for something why don't we meet you back at your apartment" my mum said.

"I could walk with you" I said.

"No...no you go back we won't be long" and they walked away before I could say anything else. Ok they were acting weird.

So I walked bath thinking about how almost perfect this day was. The almost part being I hadn't seen or even heard from Timothee.

Putting the key in my door and letting it swing open, Timothee literally jumped on me.

"Happy birthday" he said lifting me up and spinning me round.

I hung onto his neck with my arms not wanting to let go. He held my face with his hands and kissed me before handing me an envelope. It didn't have anything written on it, nothing.

He just watched as I looked at it then at him. Before tearing it gently and seeing what was inside.

'To my Lucie' was written at the top in his perfect handwriting that I'd only seen once before.

"You're going to watch me the whole time" I said looking up at him.

He nodded his hand resting on his mouth.

"I can't read it with you watching me" I said.

He gazed into my eyes before taking the letter from my hand.

"Fine I'll read it then" He said.

"To my Lucie,
I know you'll both hate and love that I'm writing you this. I know that you love real things that you can hold like books and pictures and people. You like things to have a deep personal meaning which is what I hope these words will give you. Now I'm no poet or writer like you, but I wrote this and you might think it's stupid but here goes.

Curly messy hair kind of life mine
Both stars and oceans behind her eyes
Blue and green and grey all three
A storm a breeze a tsunami
Sarcasm spreading through her veins
And uses humour when dealing with pain
Dark yet an angel at the same time
Heavenly, heavenly view of mine
Stars and oceans behind her eyes
Want you always in my life
Laying on the grass at night
You in my arms holding you tight"

I didn't have words. Tears had been streaming down my face as soon as he started reading.

"So did you like it?" He looked so nervous which I didn't think he'd be I mean he was an actor.

"Does this look like I hated it" pointing to my tears stained face.

He laughed and pulled me into a hug.

"No one has ever written me a poem so I don't really know how to react, but that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard" I sniffled into his shoulder.

"Well...I actually have one more thing" he said breaking out of my arms and handing me a piece of paper.

I opened it trying to collect myself. When I looked at it I was confused and then I actually studied it properly.

"Timothee no...are you serious...no this is too much"

He stood there looking at me with his adorable soul destroying smile.

"Italy..are you serious?" I screamed.

For anyone who doesn't know Italy has been my dream forever.

"I checked with your manager and she seemed just as excited as you honestly"

I threw my arms around him. The urge to say I love you was there but I pushed it away because I hadn't said it yet and I didn't want it to seem as though I was only saying it because of what he'd just given me. The truth is though I loved him every second of ever day but I overthought everything as usual and I was waiting for the right moment.

"When are we going?" I asked.

"In three days. I made sure it was after your mum and sister had left"

"Did they know?"

"Yeah they helped me out. Your sister mentioned how you go on and on about wanting to go to Italy" he laughed.

I grabbed the envelope with the poem in that I'd treasure forever and ever and ever. How had I actually met my person, like my literal soulmate.