Lucie has recently moved to New York City and not knowing a single person she's feeling homesick. Her introverted self can't help but feel as though she'll be alone forever. But after a collision with someone rather famous she ends up in a reality s...
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The knock on my door made me jump and I forgot where I was for a minute. I looked at my phone, it was 6pm, I'd been asleep for two hours.
Opening door my heart skipped a beat, what if it was Timothee. I couldn't let him see me like this. My hair was a complete mess and mascara stained my face. Maddy's face dropped when she saw me.
"What happened?" She instantly gave me a hug.
"Oh nothing I was watching a sad film and fell asleep. I'm fine don't worry" I was a master at lying, having practiced it almost all my life.
"Girl you had me scared for a minute"
"Do you wanna come in?" I asked.
"Fancy watching a movie and ordering in?"
"Yeah sure" I smiled.
We ordered pizza and watched mean girls. I know it's a basic girl thing but it took my mind off Timothee, well mostly. That was until she left and I was alone with my thoughts. I felt awful, worse than awful. I kept seeing the guilt in his eyes with a splash of confusion and a spoon of sadness. They swirled around in a green swimming pool but never spilling, unlike my pool that exploded the second I got home.
I tried distracting my whirling mind with pretty little liars and it did actually bring me a sense of comfort. This is exactly what a comfort show is for, taking me away from my reality and throwing me into another. I fell asleep after watching seven episodes.
Waking up the next morning I'd hoped I'd feel different, better, but I didn't. I actually think I felt worse. How was I ever going to see Timothee again after yesterday. He probably never wanted to see me again. He probably thought I was insane.
I looked in the mirror and I'd never looked worse. The joy of having curly hair is it looked bad most mornings but it looked like I'd been dragged through a bush backwards. Mascara still stained my cheeks and my eyes were all puffy after crying myself to sleep.
I laid in my bed for two hours before deciding to get up and make some coffee. I drowned myself with three cups but had to stop myself because I knew it would make me feel worse.
I hadn't looked at my phone since yesterday when Maddy came over. I didn't even know where it was. I looked down the side of the couch but it wasn't there. Then I looked in the bathroom and found it on the floor. No messages. So he didn't want anything to do with me. I'd scared him away and I don't blame him.
I wanted to disappear. Anxiety crushed against my chest while depression fought back and I felt everything getting worse again. So I locked myself away the whole day in my room.
Someone would probably think how could something as small as a kiss from a guy make you like this. But when you suffer from a mental illness, even the smallest thing can set you in a spiral. Plus the years of hidden trauma and other stuff that I've suppressed and never talk about to anyone. I wish I had my cats with me. They really are my emotional support animals and I miss my sister.
The sun was setting and soon it was dark. Well not really dark because the city light lit up the atmosphere surrounding me. I looked at the lights and the people and the cars. I looked at the moon which was just a slither and I looked at my reflection in the glass. I sat there looking when I got the sudden urge to go for a walk. I didn't change I just threw my hood over me and grabbed my bag.
