in my head

Chapter 20

"So you're mad at me?" He asked.

"No"

"Well your face says otherwise" He laughed

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah" I let him in closing the door behind me.

I'd left all my music stuff out and of course Timothee headed straight towards it. He was always intrigued by the stuff in my apartment.

"I'm just going to change" I said before heading into my room. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a oversized tee. I came back out and sat next to Timothee.

"What's this?" He asked holding up a light blue note book.

I grabbed it instantly from his hand.

"Nothing" god I knew he wasn't going to drop it. Another thing I was hiding.

"So you won't tell me about this either?" He said with a sad look on his face. The kind of look that made guilt overflow my emotions.

"It's my song book. I write my songs in there"

"Can I see?" He asked looking at me, wanting to see my reaction.

"Mmm" I thought about it for a while looking at what felt like my most private, secret part of me that I'd never shared with anyone. And for some reason the fear of letting someone read it wasn't there. Not with Timothee.

I gave it back to him and I saw the look of surprise mixed with a smile. He opened it. Ok so I was nervous and honestly felt a little sick because why whole being was in those pages.

I got up to make a drink not being able to sit there and watch him read. Sitting back down next to him and rubbing my hands along my legs, I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Ok you can't read all of them, there's too many" Anxiety strung through my voice.

"You wrote all these?" He asked.

"Yeah" Biting my thumb.

"These are so good. Like insanely good" He said turning the page.

"Really?" My leg was shaking.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you" He said with a hint of sadness.

Looking down and twisting the ring on my finger, Timothee put the book back on the table with the rest of my music stuff.

It was silent. The tv wasn't on and I didn't have any music on either, which is usually what filled  my apartment.

Putting my head back on the couch looking up at the ceiling, I felt Timothee's hand on my arm. He caressed it gently. Then I felt his lips press against my wrist. I closed my eyes not wanting this feeling to end.

"You know you're important to me right?" He said.

"I guess" I tilted my head to the side looking at him, then looking down at where is hand was placed on my wrist.

I stood up quickly removing my hand from his.

"Im gonna put some music on" I said searching for my phone. Once I found it, I connected it up to the speaker and shuffled my playlist. Frank oceans 'pink + white' came on which was one of my favourites.

"I'm just gonna take a quick shower. You can grab whatever you want from the fridge" I said.

"Ok"

I hopped into the shower, singing along to the songs I could hear from my speaker. It didn't take me long before I was out the shower. I didn't wash my hair because it took ages to dry naturally.

"Hey should we order some food" I said as I came out the bathroom.

"Yeah"

"I'm thinking Thai since I had pizza last night"

"You never told me you could sing" Timothee said as he lay across the couch.

"Well everyone can sing"

"Yeah but your voice is amazing"

"You're just saying that. Anyway what do you want?" I held up the menu on my phone.

"Anything" He replied quickly.

I ordered the food before sitting back on the couch. I decided to the opposite way, putting my feet over the top edge and my head towards the front so that the tv was upside down.

Timothee laughed before joining me in the same position. The next song came on. It was heroes by David Bowie. Timothee looked at me before getting up.

"Come on" He said.

I looked at him confused, his face upside down because of how I was laying. He went over to where my legs flopped over the side and put out his arms. I reached up for them and he pulled me up. He dragged me into the middle of the room and started swinging my arms. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Though nothing will keep us together" Timothee sang.

"We could steal time just for one day" I sang the next line.

We danced around my apartment and I'd never felt such pure happiness. When the chorus came on I jumped around and so did Timothee.

Without warning or time to understand this was about to happen, Timothee pressed his lips against mine. He pulled away, looking at my reaction. I wanted more, it was as though my body ached for him.

I put my hands on the back of his head and pushed him towards me. Our lips collided, heroes still playing. This was a perfect moment, like one you'd see in a movie.

I ran my hands through his hair as his ran along my back. He pushed me back and I hit the wall. The outro was now playing. I didn't want the song to end. He broke away and stared into my eyes, then grabbed my hands and brought me back into the middle of the room to dance to the end of the song.