in my head

Chapter 9

The cool air hit me smack in the face. I hadn't breathed fresh air for two days now and I forgot how good it felt. I'd decided to go to the shop near me. I put in my earphones and shuffled my euphoria playlist. Yes I loved that show, probably wasn't the most healthy obsession but nonetheless I loved it.

Entering the shop, the lights seemed so bright almost blinding me. The guy at the counter looked over. I was probably his only customer, I never saw anyone in here. Walking down each isle I grabbed some crisps, chocolate and bread. Extremely healthy I know, especially considering I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. I wondered down the end isle which was filled with alcohol. I stood there for a minute before grabbing raspberry vodka. I prayed I didn't get ID'd because I wasn't actually legal in this country.

I left the shop shocked I didn't get ID'd because I honestly look about 15 and not to mention I was hiding half my face behind a hood. I unscrewed the cap and drank it straight out the bottle. The liquid burned my throat but I liked that feeling in a masochistic way. I walked up the street and ended up going down a quiet side alley still taking gulps of alcohol. I was already starting to feel it going to my head, probably because I hadn't eaten anything. I slumped down to the floor and sat they're until half the bottle was gone.

"Hey there. You alright?" a voice poured into my ear.

"Ye- yep I'm...I'm fine" I slurred.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up. No, there's no way this was real.

"Lucie. What are you doing down here?"

Timothee was staring right at me, concern and shock clear on his face. I couldn't believe this. How was he down here. I looked away not wanting him to see me like this. Getting up, I stumbled into the wall and I almost passed out but Timothee grabbed my arm and held me up.

"Hey hey you're alright" his words soothed me.

He held me up walking me down the side road towards the opposite direction of my apartment. I honestly didn't care where we were going, I was with Timothee so I knew I was safe.

The journey was a blur but soon I was laying on a couch. But this wasn't my couch or my apartment. I sat up too quick and my head throbbed. The back of Timothee's head was all I could see and I let out I sigh of relief.

"Where's the bathroom?" my voice shaky.

He turned quickly from the fridge and walked over to me. "Right over there" he pointed and I ran towards it.

I was sick about four times, but I was thankful the feeling of nausea had finally gone. I rinsed my mouth out with water and went back out to Timothee.

I just looked at him sat on the coach and tears began to well in my eyes. I turned my face away quickly so he couldn't see me, but I could hear him come up behind me.

"Lucie" there was nothing that could explain the feeling of him saying my name. It was like a small dose of pain relief.

He put his hands on my shoulders making my knees weak. I sniffed and sobbed. His hands dropped and he walked round to where I was facing. I looked down at the floor covering my hands with my face.

"I can't..." I couldn't even speak I was crying that much.

He placed his hands on mine to remove them from my face and lifted my chin up so I was looking at him. I'd never ever cried in front of anyone in my entire life. The idea of being so vulnerable in front of someone honestly made me sick. Tears streamed down my face. Timothee wiped them away with his thumb, the gentle touch to my skin made my eyes heavy and then he wrapped his arms around me. I never wanted to let go. I think I was holding on a bit too tight but I didn't care. This was better than any feeling I'd ever felt, even better than when we kissed.

People underestimate the power of a hug. Hugging someone is in my opinion the simplest yet most comforting feeling I've ever known. When it's returned with the same amount of love and comfort, I can't tell you how good that feels.

We stayed like this for a while but when I stopped crying he removed his arms and looked at me.

"How about a drink of water?" he smiled.

"Yes please"

I sat back on the couch and Timothee joined me handing me the glass of water. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up and I was in bed. Last nights memories came flooding in and I realised I was in Timothee's apartment in his bed.