in my head

Chapter 51

I hadn't been out all day but Madison was back tomorrow so I thought I'd get her some food in for when she comes home. As I opened the door my heart dropped.

"Timothee?"

"You're alright" he said getting up and instantly hugging me.

It was like I'd been in withdrawal and I was receiving that dose of drug I'd longed for. I dug my face into his shoulder and took in the familiar scent that was his. The feeling of his arms wrapped around my back made my heart race, I was sure he could feel it.

He started walking forcing me to move backwards. We both still had our arms wrapped around each other and I tightly clung on because my legs felt weak, but I couldn't give into him. I loved him more than that to mess up his life again by letting him back in mine.

"I just had to know you were alright, I can go now"

And just like that my wall was broken, shattered at those words because he honestly thinks that being away from him is what I truly wanted. I wish he could've known the pain and hurt I've felt since he left and how that wound then reopened when I found him drunk outside my building.

"I don't want you to go" I muttered with my face pressed against his arm.

I think I felt a sigh of relief in his chest almost like he'd been holding his breath. Eventually he let go to look at me and his green eyes had returned to their perfect state. I ran my hands through his hair and just took in his perfect smile.

"All I want is for you to be happy" he said.

"That's all I wanted for you, that's why-"

"That's why you told me to leave" he said looking right into me.

"I didn't want to get in the way of your career, your passion and I was"

"Lucie nothing you do will ever make me not love you. Unfortunately there will always be a part of our life that's public and I was afraid it'd drive you away" His hand was on my shoulder while the other was cupping my face.

"It's just something I'm gonna have to get use to and I will because I love you, like I love love you" I smiled.

"I love love you too" and he wrapped his arms back around me.

That night he stayed over after I'd gone to get food for Madison. Her fridge was fully stocked with all her favourite foods.

"I've missed watching pretty little liars I'm not gonna lie" he grinned.

"I bet you have"

That night I actually slept what felt like a normal nights sleep. With Timothee tracing his hand across my arm and me flinching because it tickled, made that coldness in my chest that had been filling up for weeks start to feel warm again.

When Madison arrived home I filled her in on everything, she's my best friend after all, and I needed someone to vent to.

"That all happened while I was away?" She looked at me stunned.

"I'm just glad your back" I sighed.

"You know you could've rang me"

"And ruined your trip no way"

We talked for hours until eventually I was starting to get tired. I headed back to my apartment and collapsed on the bed. I looked at my wall that was filled with posters and quotes. My eyes landed on the perks of being a wallflower and I was transported back to that day we recreated the tunnel scene.

I decided I was going back to work tomorrow and I wanted to show them what I'd been working on, but first I needed to share it with Timothee.