in my head

Chapter 10

I sprang up immediately and walked out towards the kitchen. Timothee was laying on the couch with a blanket and pillow crumpled on the floor. He must've took the couch.

"Hey" my voice raspy from all the crying I did.

"Morning. Want some coffee?" He asked.

"Always" I smiled.

He got up and poured me a cup. Then we both sat on the couch.

"I uh...I can't imagine what you must think of me" I said looking down.

"Lucie" I knew he wanted me to look at him and honestly anytime he said my name my heart skipped a beat. I raised my head looking at him.

"I know what you're expecting me to think, but I don't. I can see you're guarded and you don't like people seeing you vulnerable, but that only makes me want to know you more"

I was shocked that someone could want to know me more after what they witnessed last night.

"Ask me anything" he said.

"What?"

"Ask me whatever you want and I'll give an honest answer" I knew what he was doing.

I thought for a few minutes because I didn't want to ask a basic question like what his favourite film was, even though I did want to know.

"What's your biggest fear?"

He thought for a minute "Well I hate small spaces" he laughed while looking around his apartment "but a genuine fear is losing someone I love" his eyes locked on mine and a shiver ran down my back.

"So what's yours" he asked. I could tell he wasn't sure wether to ask me.

"I have the biggest fear of spiders like most people probably" I shuddered at the thought "but fear of failure is a big one for me. I'm always thinking about the future and how I'm not going to achieve everything I want in time"

Timothee was one of the very few people you could tell actually listened to what you said with full concern and interest.

"I get that. Especially with social media and everyone making out like you should have everything figured out by now" he knew exactly how I felt which made me realise I wasn't alone. Even a huge talented actor could feel a sense of pressure and failure.

"Um can I ask you something?" he looked at me and I could see he was nervous.

"Of course" I already knew what he was going to ask me.

"Why where you drinking last night" ok that was not what I thought he was going to ask me but then again I suppose it kind of is.

"Um" I twisted the ring around on my finger "Well honestly I thought you'd never want to speak to me again. You know after what happened" I still couldn't maintain eye contact and I couldn't keep still. Something I noticed Timothee also did.

"You really thought I'd never speak to you again" he seemed hurt.

"It's my fault really. It's just hard to explain" I trailed off not wanting to get into the deep personal vaulted shit that was locked away for no one to see.

I laid down opposite him with my legs and arms limp like a child. I pouted at him with wide adoring eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked softly.

"Trying to make you laugh"

His smile warmed my entire body. I couldn't take it. Like seriously it was too much.

He moved closer to where my legs where slumped. I watched as he traced something with his finger on my bare legs.

I moved around not wanting him to stop but at the same time it tickled.

"Stop, that tickles" I tried moving my legs away but I saw the grin on his face. He climbed over to lie beside me.

"Timothee don't" I frowned knowing exactly what he was thinking.

It was too late. He touched the side of my waist and that was all it took. I was an extremely ticklish person which Timothee of course figured out. He continued to tickle me.

"Timothee please stop" I shouted through fits of laughter.

I managed to somehow get up but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. He just looked at me now, with kindness in his eyes. Pushing my string of curls back from my face, he continued to stare at me. I buried my face into the pillow.

"Hey" he whined.

"You're staring at me" I moaned.

"I could always-" I could feel his hand on my waist.

"Fine" I huffed.

I turned back to face him, his face inches from mine and my legs slouched on his. I know what he wanted to do but I also knew he was probably thinking about what happened last time. I decided to tease him after tickling me.

I leaned in really close, so close I could feel his breath on my lips. I grabbed his hair with my hand and pulled it slightly, a moan released from his mouth.

"Timothee" I whispered in his ear. He was breathing so heavily and so was I but I had to resist the urge if I wanted to get him back.

I leant in even more so our lips touched slightly and I stayed there for a minute, looked him deep in his eyes and then I pulled away and got up off the couch.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked, a smirk rising on my face.

He looked longingly at me and then a frown appeared across his face.

"You shouldn't have tickled me" I smiled before heading towards the bathroom.

I heard a groan and a frustrated sigh and I laughed knowing I figured out a way to get him back.