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chapter twenty

I wake up – my head heavy.

My eyes flutter as the try to get used to the light. I groan a bit, but straighten my back and lean on my arms as I get up.

I need a second to check my surroundings. It's... unfamiliar. Where am I?

Then memories come back – hitting me like a big wave. My head immediately turns in order to see for what I pray would only be part of my imagination and not the reality.

But I get disappointed.

I see Isaacs's face, eyes shut and mouth a bit opened, laying on the pillow next to me.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This... is real.

I stare at him, thinking about... what happened. Yesterday. Right here.

This is... Oh fuck, what did I think to myself?

I cringe, remembering. I remember it all – and I remember not feeling this weird about it yesterday. We... fucked... I guess.

I pluck my hair behind my ears, thinking about what an idiot I am. I mean, I'm not angry about the sex bit... just who it's been with.

Of course, it had to be him. I mean, I know my weak point for this fucker, but I thought I could handle it well... But I guess not.

I could scream but decide to just keep it at cursing to myself internally. Why him?

I glance at Isaac's profile again. I mean, I wanted this... I wanted the exploring. I just let it happen – just like George told me.

Is it weird that I'm kind of proud of myself as well?

But my thoughts get cut off immediately, as I see Isaac move next to me. My body freezes and I hold my breath. No, no, nonono. Don't wake up.

Still staring, now in total fear that he wakes up and I need to have a conversation with him, I press the blanket to my body, suddenly very aware that I'm naked underneath it.

But I guess I'm lucky this time: Isaac's body moved, but he still seems asleep. Only his eyelids twitch a bit.

I don't think anymore, I just listen to my brain yelling at me that I need to get away – now.

I turn my head immediately – hair flying – and I search for my clothes.

I know that they have to be here somewhere.

My head still rushing, I at least relax a little bit as I find my black panties right next to my bra on the floor next to the side of the bed.

I mumble a quiet 'thank you' – shutting my eyes for a second for a quick prayer. If there's a god or anything like that it's now the time to thank them.

I get out of the bed, putting on my underwear quickly, then I move forward in this unknown territory and exit the room – the door already open.

I've never been inside Isaac's house, but I've seen it from the outside.

Two good things and one bad one. First of all, I know that he lives alone. He moved out right after high school – even if it's still very close to his hometown. That's very good for me, so I won't be stumbling into any parents the way out of his room. Secondly, I know (more or less) where I am. I mean, I'm not sure what Isaac's exact address is, but at least I'm not in the middle of nowhere. Now the bad thing – I know in fact where I am, but I also know that I won't be able to just walk the way home.

I vaguely remember Isaac and me driving here – a friend of his who has also been at the party dropped us off.

I almost fall over as I make my way out of Isaac's bedroom into a little hallway, where I see the rest of my clothes and also some of his laying on the floor.