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chapter thirty-four

"This is literally impossible."

I groan, kind of frustrated with myself that I'm not perfect at the thing I'm trying out for the first time in my life.

"You have to balance your weight better."

"Don't you think I'm trying that?!" Yeah... I get cranky when I'm not good at stuff.

Clay and I have been practicing simple skating tricks for the past half hour and I don't seem to get a tad better at this one now.

Nick and I came back from the grocery store before. Our talk just kind of made me... confused? I mean, I really didn't want to be in any way rude towards him, but at the same time I was just overwhelmed with the situation.

Just like now – only this is different.

"Sorry", I giggle, even if it's just an expression of helplessness. "I'm normally good at sports." I feel like I have to explain my poor skills someway.

Clay chuckles and I look up to him as he offers me his hand again to stabilize myself on the board. I take it and try to put my feet exactly as he showed me before. "It's fine, you're doing great", Clay promises me.

"Don't lie", I say back, but chuckling as well – this time sincerely.

I mean, I learned pretty quickly how to jump on the board while flipping it with my feet at the same time, but it was really so damn easy that I begged Clay for something more challenging. I asked for an 'ollie' – just because it's the only trick I knew. Clay told me I wouldn't be able to make it, which only made me want to prove him wrong. He showed it to me and now I'm repeatedly failing.

It's my own fault I'm devastated now, I know.

"I'm not lying!", Clay laughs, defending himself. "Come on, try again."

I snort, shaking my head, but do as he says. I'm not even moving yet – I'm just trying to get the board to kind of jump with me.

I put my feet in position – one at the end of the board, one in the middle – then I jump. I roll my foot with my movement, just like Clay tried to explain to me, in order to pick the board up.

I fail.

It definitely just looked like a really weird approach of jumping in general – just on a board. I groan, being really frustrated.

Clay notices my reaction but seems like he doesn't want to lose hope for me yet. "Hey, come on, this kind of thing needs practice", he laughs. "Let's do it again."

With that his hand is on my waist, sending a quick shiver through my body and a smile on my lips. I move with his guidance and place my feet on the board again – my one hand still connected with Clays.

But then I realize something. This is just what Nick meant before.

This is one of these moments where it probably looks like to others, that Clay and I are dating – him holding me by my waist and my hand... This is exactly what would start rumors – what would make even Nick believe that we're a couple – and Nick is Clay's best friend.

My words leave my mouth before I even really think about them. "You know, maybe I should just give up", I say and immediately step off the board. I make distance on purpose, so Clay's hands leave my body. They drop.

"What? Why?", I hear Clay say. I avoid his eye contact and grab up the board from the ground instead.

"I'm just not good at it", I mumble, somehow trying to explain myself.

I shake myself, wanting to get rid of this weird feeling I got all of a sudden. This is nonsense. Nick just totally got underneath my skin and now it's getting to my head.