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chapter twenty-six

It kind of feels like the morning after Christmas Eve – the first time I woke up in Clay's bed. There's the sun again, already higher up, but still... it's tickling my nose, waking me.

It kind of feels like a spring day – there could be birds chirping and the first flowers would bloom. I know it's still winter... but it feels like this thing between me and Clay has been going on for ages, so spring would feel right.

It kind of feels... normal now.

I blink, trying to get used to the light as I pull the blanket tighter towards my body and listen. Clay is still asleep – I know that without even looking at him. He has this calm breathing pattern, giving off these little sounds – yeah, that's him asleep. I know that by now.

It seems more and more irrational as I think about it. This thing between me and Clay... however the real term for this is... even if it hasn't been going on for a whole month... seems so familiar.

Not in a déjà-vu kind of familiar – it just feels like it was supposed to be.

I mean, I didn't think this would ever happen. Of course... in the time of our just-friendship (without the benefits yet) I thought about it maybe once or twice... but it's not like I would have ever acted on these little thoughts – they were just imagination. Clay and I only had these sexual jokes – making fun of each other – but I also can't say that some of them weren't a bit true.

But still, I can't believe I am here again... in Clay's bed... the morning after.

I feel good. I feel more than good.

If this is what regular sex can do, I want to keep this going as long as possible.

I almost giggle about myself. It's just... I couldn't have imagined that this would really happen... with Clay.

I sit up, the heavy blanket still on my body as I scan the room. My eyes land on Clay – sleeping, just as I thought – and I know I'm smiling. It's kind of cute how he looks – so deep in his sleep.

I'd wish I could sleep this deeply, but now, once I'm awake, there is no chance I can go back to sleep. That's also why I decide it's not worth staying here.

I wiggle my body forward towards the edge of the bed, then heaving my body off it – limbs hurting as I stand up... especially my legs. I slept the whole rest of the night, but my legs still feel like pudding after what happened yesterday. After what Clay made happen to me yesterday... I'm just... absolutely sore.

I don't even really remember when and how he untied the rope around my wrist. I mean, he must have... but everything after my second high... seems to only be blurry in memory.

Still, I get up and start making my way through Clay's room. This time I don't even bother getting my clothes from the floor – it would be one way too hard job for me anyway right now – and I'm not getting back into jeans nor my sweater... Clay has way more comfortable clothes anyways.

So, I just tiptoe along the side of the bed, Clay still sleeping in there with his one arm being slightly bent over his head. I just glance at him for a second longer and have to force myself to not smile due to this kind of adorable sight.

I get to Clay's closet and pick out a shirt from him as well as some boxers. I hop in them, being surprised by the comfortable fit. Why do I wear panties all the time when I could wear this?!

Then I simply put on the shirt – covering up my body down to almost the middle of my thighs.

I have to search it at first, but as I find my phone – only having a few percent of battery capacity left – I check the time.