Demi
The moment we stepped through the front door of our quiet house, the tears started to flow down my cheeks. Even Batman wasn't there to greet me like he normally was.
"Come on, Baby" Odell combed his fingers through my hair as he led me towards the stairs.
"I don't-I don't wanna go upstairs" I shook my head as I moved myself away from his grip.
"Do you want to sit in the living room?"
"I don't know. I just-All I've done is sleep and cry and I'm so over it" I quickly wiped my cheeks. "I don't want to cry anymore, Odell. I don't want to feel anything anymore" concern suddenly flooded his features. "I'm not going to do anything stupid" I wiped my nose as I sniffled. "I just-I don't know what I want to do anymore. I feel so empty and alone and..." I sobbed as I glanced down at my stomach.
"You're not alone, Angel. I promise" I swallowed down the lump in my throat as he stroked a piece of hair behind my ear. "I won't let you fall. I love you so much, Demi" I nodded as he leant in to kiss my forehead. "How about we use the guest bedroom down here?"
"If it means I don't have to walk past her nursery" I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks. "Can you get Batman? I don't like that he's not here" he nodded, flashing me a light smile as he pulled his phone from his pocket.
"I'll get your mom to drop him back" I silently nodded and then turned, heading through the kitchen and towards the downstairs guest bedroom. It's my favourite guest bedroom due to the fact that the view is incredible. I just stood at the window for a moment, staring out at the LA skyline until Odell stepped into the room. "Your mom's bringing him back" I nodded, glancing back at him over my shoulder. I bit down on my lip as his arms circled around my waist.
"I don't ever want to forget her."
"Why would you forget her, Baby?" I shrugged as I slid my hands along his that remained wrapped around me. "There's no way we can forget her, Angel. She's our baby. She's our daughter. She will always be with us even if she's not physically here" I rapidly blinked to push back the tears.
"I feel so empty. It's like there's this huge hole in my heart and I don't know whether it'll ever heal" Odell pressed his lips to my temple. "I feel guilty" Odell's hands moved to my hips and he slowly turned me to face him. He didn't need to ask for an explanation for me to give him one. "We get to go on with our lives. We-We'll probably have another baby in the future but doesn't that make us like bad people? It'd be like we're replacing her" Odell's lips lightly twitched at the corners, tears were lining the bottom of his eyes. He stroked a strand of hair behind my ear as he leant in to kiss my forehead.
"Us having another baby wouldn't be us replacing Iona, Angel. She'll be an older sister and they'll know all about her. We'll make sure of that" he pulled me into his chest as a tear rolled down my cheek. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my ear against his heart.
-
I must have fallen asleep at some point because I eventually woke up to a tongue licking my face. I softly laughed as I forced my eyes open and ran my fingers into Batman's fur.
"Hi Baby" my voice was husky. I glanced over at Odell as he lowered himself down onto the bed beside me. He combed his fingers gently through my hair.
"How you feeling, Baby?"
"Okay, I guess. I ache a little, my stomach feels funny."
"You want me to grab you an Advil?"
"I need the toilet so..." I slowly pushed myself up, Batman moved himself away from me. We sat there for a minute in a silence that settled around us, Odell's fingers playing with the ends of my hair. He leant to kiss my cheek as I released a breath and slowly moved my legs to dangle over the edge of the bed. I bit down on my lip to stifle my whimper as I stood. I could feel Odell's eyes on me as I walked around the bed and towards the door. He quietly followed me as I headed through the kitchen and towards the downstairs bathroom.
"I'll get you an Advil, Baby" I nodded, closing the door behind me. I bit down on my lip, tears blurring my vision as I did my business. I swallowed the lump from my throat, released a breath and wiped my cheeks before I left the room. On the kitchen counter was a glass of water and an Advil. I swallowed down the pill and then slid onto the stool. "Do..." the sound of his voice actually made me jump. "Do you want anything to eat?" I nibbled on my lip, staring down at my hands as I twirled my engagement ring around my finger.
"I-I'm not really that hungry."
"Demi, you haven't eaten anything since yesterday."
"That's a lie. I-I had two bites of toast this morning" his eyebrows raised slightly. "I-I'll have a little something if you're making it" his lips twitched at the corners as he rummaged around in the refrigerator. "Where's my phone?"
"It's still upstairs, Baby" I nodded as I pushed myself off the stool. "I can grab it for you, if you want?" I shook my head as I wrapped my arms around myself.
"I-I've got to go upstairs at some point" I slowly walked towards the stairs, taking them one step at a time. I never realised how much my body would ache after birth. I held onto the railing, tears blurring my vision as my eyes landed on the door to what should have been Iona's nursery. I forced my eyes off the door, trying to push back the tears as I continued towards the master bedroom. My phone was still sat on charge where I left it yesterday morning. There were numerous messages from friends and family, expressing their complete devastation and support, hearing them talk about a little girl they would never get to meet made me a little angry, not at them, but at God. Why would he do this to an innocent little girl?
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