Demi
I woke to Batman's loud barks. I grumbled as I removed the sheet from around my legs and I rolled out of bed. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and sighed at the notifications. I ignored them, placing my phone back down onto the nightstand as I stood, grabbing my robe and wrapping it around me. The messages have been almost non stop since Iona's birth was announced. I haven't even been on social media since. I can't bring myself to read anything about my little girl, the comments before she was even born, before they actually knew about her existence, weren't exactly pleasant. How could anyone ever hate on an unborn baby? I will never understand it. I could hear voices as I stood at the top of the stairs, Batman's barks having quietened. I took my time walking down the stairs, trying to listen in on the conversation that Odell seemed to be having with someone. I hadn't yet heard their voice to know who it was.
"She's still struggling a little but I think she's getting there. She doesn't cry as much. Yesterday was difficult though with planning the funeral" tears burnt at the backs of my eyes, a lump forming in my throat. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. No parent should ever have to plan a funeral for their child, no matter the circumstances. "We're planning to get away for a while. Take a trip up to the cabin. Demi suggested it and I thought it'd be good for her to get away but I believe it'll be good for me too."
"That sounds like a good idea" it was Heather. "How are you holding up though, Honey?"
"I've got to be strong for Demi, haven't I? I'm coping with it, I guess" my heart ached as I leant against the wall by the door.
"Baby, you don't have to be strong all the time" I quickly wiped away the tear that rolled down my cheek. I've never once asked Odell how he's handling all this. I'm a selfish bitch. "You're grieving for Iona too. It wasn't just Demi who lost her, Baby."
"But I-I didn't carry her for 5 months. I didn't have to push her dead..." he stopped himself.
"You still felt her kick, Odell. You still loved her" I bit down on my lip as my chin gently quivered. "You still held her. Don't hold in your emotions, Odell. What did I tell you? Just because your a man it doesn't mean you can't be sad, it doesn't mean you can't cry. I've told you that your whole life" my heart broke as he sniffled. "It doesn't mean you always have to be the strong one. You're allowed to be sad, Baby" I wiped the tears from my cheeks.
"I'm just-I'm angry at everything. I-I've cried multiple times but I-I don't want to upset Demi so I cry when she's asleep" his voice sounded so broken. "I'm not angry with Demi, I don't want her to ever think that I am" I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "I-I want to know why this happened but we're never going to know. From the tests they performed, there was nothing wrong with Iona. There was no reason why she died" I leant my head against the wall as the tears rolled down my cheeks. "Why did God do this?"
"We'll never know, Honey" I couldn't stand it any longer as Odell choked on a sob. My heart was being torn from my chest. I stepped into the living room, Batman instantly running at me. Heather was the first to look up as Odell was leant forward, his head in his hands. She flashed me a light smile as I gave Batman a quick fuss. "Hi Sweetheart" I lowered myself down onto the couch beside Odell and I cuddled myself into his side, he just seemed to cry harder as I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my lips to his temple.
"I know you're not angry with me. I'm angry too, Odell. I'm angry at the world for taking away our little girl" tears rolled down my cheeks as he cuddled himself into me, continuing to cry. "I'm sorry that I never asked you how you were feeling about this. I'm sorry for being so selfish" his grip tightened around me. It actually felt good to comfort him for once. Ever since we lost her, it's me who's being comforted. It's like all of the attention is on me but Odell lost her too. He's grieving too and I can't believe it took me this long to realise. I was so self-absorbed in my own grief to realise that Odell's hurting too. "I love you so fucking much. I'm so sorry" he pulled himself away from me, his eyes red and bloodshot.
"You're not selfish, Angel" I gently wiped at his cheeks with the pad of my thumb. "I just-I didn't wanna burden you, I guess. I didn't want you to feel my sadness as well" I rolled my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"But I obviously expected you to feel mine" he shook his head. "I want to know how you're feeling, that's how we're going to get through this" my fingers lightly played with his curls. "I should have asked how you was. I shouldn't have just left you to take care of me. I never even asked" Odell shook his head as he cupped my chin in his hand and he leant to kiss me. "From now on, we talk to each other, okay? If you need to cry then I'll be there to comfort you like you've been there for me. I can't believe I was so self-absorbed. I'm sorry."
"Stop apologising" my lips ever so slightly twitched at the corners as he caressed my lip with his thumb. "I love you, Demi. You're my world. You're my everything" I leant in to kiss him and then cuddled myself into his side, my arms wrapping loosely around his waist.
"I love you too. I don't think I would have gotten through any of this without you. You've been my rock" he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, his fingers gently caressing my back.
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