The Book of Randomness

Bob's Guide: How to be a creepy weirdo

It's quite easy actually.

I creep people out all the time.

Like seriously all the time.

First of all, you have to dress like one.

*puts on a top hat, rainbow suspenders, plastic unicorn horn, and huge glasses*

Then you have to make your face look like one.

*puts on a load of mascara then dumps water on his face to make it run*

After that, make sure that you talk weird and random thoughts.

Now let's see how this would play out...
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Me: *hides behind the couch*

Aloha: *sits down* "I'm sooooo bored!"

Me: *pops up* "HAHAHAHA HELLO THERE EGGPLANT!!!"

Aloha: "Ack!" *falls over* "Bob what the f- What's up with your face?!?!"

Me: *pretends to be offended* "I think I look beautiful. You just jelly."

Aloha: "What even?"

Me: "I'll tell you what's even. It's Steven! Hahaha and the number four."

Aloha: "Are you ok?"

Me: "My name isn't ok, it's Bob! Bob! Got it? Did you know pain is hilarious? I stabbed my arm five times already! SEE, SEE, SEE?!?! *shows her my arm*

Aloha: "You need a doctor like right now." *looks a me weirdly* "Seriously."

Me: "BUT THE DOCTORS ARE SO MEAN!!! They call me this word 'insane' and poke me with stabby things!"

Aloha: "Lemme guess, they also throw you in the place for 'happy people' too?"

Me: "No, it's called an asylum! I saw a penguin the other day too! He killed a clown! I EANT FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!"

Aloha: *starts backing away slowly*

Me: *starts laughing uncontrollably* "HAHA WHY IS THE SKY BLUE? DO DOLPHINS SWIM IN IT? ARE RAINBOWS ACTUALLY GNOME VOMIT? HAHALOLOLOLOLOLOL BANANA!!!"

Aloha: *runs away* "GUYS BOB IS INSANE HELP!"

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Hehe that worked great.................

A/N from, well, the actual author and not Bob: I had fun messing with the pic. :3