Teach me to trust

14. Ryan

I stand in the kitchen with the drink that Lily haphazardly poured for me in my hand.

She's currently dancing in the middle of the living room with Marc, and I feel happy that she looks so relaxed here. Compared to at the bar where she seemed to be on edge, a ball of nerves.

I take a sip of my drink and grimace, a lot stronger than I would usually have it but I feel like I might need it to tonight, if the last 10 minutes are anything to go by. Nate wandered off and I haven't really seen him since, expect for the odd glance as people move around in the living room.

I won't worry too much about it.

He's obviously enjoying spending time with his friends, drinking and seemingly playing a game of beer pong from the looks of things.

I stand sipping on my drink, trying to decide whether I want to stay for another or if I should just call a taxi, when I hand in front of my face snaps me out of my daze.

"Anyone in there?" the voice asks, and I see a man standing in front of me, short brown hair on his head, dark eyes fixed on my face and he asks the question, laughter in his voice.

"Yes sorry, I was in my own little world" is my response, and the look on his face tells me that much was obvious.

"I guessed as much. I'm Ryan" and he holds his hand out for me to shake, and I oblige. His hold is firm on my hand.

"I just wanted to come and see what a girl like you is doing in here on her own" he leans on the kitchen side next to me as he asks this, and I almost laugh at the cliché question I've just been asked. But out of politeness, I keep the amusement off my face and out of my voice.

"I don't really know many people here to be totally honest. I'm a, friend of Nate's and those two-" I point at Lily and Marc as I say this,

"Are the only other two people I seem to know here" and I shrug as I finish my sentence, taking another sip of my drink and wincing again. A warm feeling spreading in my chest as the alcohol hits my stomach.

Ryan chuckles beside me, gesturing towards my drink,

"Not nice huh?" and I shake my head. I can't help but laugh at the question, I've never been one to keep my feelings from being written all over my face. A fatal flaw of mine in some circumstances.

"If you want some company tonight, I'll be just out there" and he points to the couch positioned at the side of the makeshift dancefloor, seemingly having been moved for the occasion.

I nod and smile at him,

"Thanks for coming to talk to me, it was nice to meet you Ryan" and I do genuinely mean this, a nice interaction with a man who isn't behaving like a total creep. Refreshing.

He finishes his drink as I say this, moving forward to pour himself a new one and talking to me as he does.

"It was lovely to meet you" and he looks at me over the rim of his cup.

"Are you going to tell me your name at some point?" he asks, and I release a sharp laugh, leaning forward.

"Oh shit, I never did tell you my name did I. My bad" and he laughs along with me,

"I'm Emily" I tell him, he seems nice enough, and he comes to stand beside me again.

"So when you say you're friends with Nate. What exactly does that mean? As in genuine friends, like him and Lily. Or friends" he puts an emphasis on the word and I can feel my hands becoming clammy around my cup, so I lift it and take a gulp. The warmth from the alcohol spreading to the ends of my fingers and I feel myself relaxing slowly.

"We're friends, I don't really know how else to explain it". And I honestly don't.

What exactly do you call someone who's dick you've had in your mouth, and you've kissed a couple of times?

"Ah okay, that's good for me then I suppose" and I blanch a little. Please don't say something stupid right now.

"What exactly-" and I turn to him as I say this, his body turning towards me too, but I don't get to finish my sentence.

Because of course this is when Nate decides to make his appearance,

"Have any of you seen-" and he stops at the entrance to the kitchen, almost glued to the spot as his eyes look over me and the man stood next to me.

I think for the first time since I've met him, he looks angry almost.

And because I'm a horrible excuse for a woman, I feel something stir in the pit of my stomach.

"Nate. Hi" I say and sip my drink again. I'm definitely starting to feel a buzz now, my body feels more relaxed, and I've started swaying slightly to the music playing.

I notice how my cup feels lighter, and I look down into it and move over to the drinks to top myself up when Ryan steps forward,

"I can make that for you" he says, holding his hand out for my cup and I frown.

I can see Nate watching us interact, head tilted slightly and his left hand clenched at his side. I'm almost torn between taunting him and showing him he has nothing to worry about.

Choices, choices.

"No that's okay thank you. I can do it" is my response and I pick up the vodka with Lily's name written on in big black writing. It makes me smile.

I know this is the bottle she poured from before, so I hope she doesn't mind me using it now, but I make a mental note to ask her when she's sober if she wants me to send her some money for drinking it.

"Nate my man. Great party you've got going on here, I'm having a great time" Ryan lifts his cup to toast Nate as he says this,

"I have to say, you have impeccable taste in party guests" Ryan looks towards me as he says this and I almost choke on my drink, I can't help but look towards Nate, who is still watching this play out before him.

"Is that right?" are the first words Nate speaks since he's walked into the kitchen. His eyes come towards me, his face stoic and I can't tell what he's thinking.

His seriousness is both turning me on and making me nervous. A highly intoxicating combination.

"Mhm, I got to hand it to you, I think I owe you a thanks for giving me this opportunity" and I nearly throw up into my drink.

What the fuck is this guy doing

Nate's eyebrows furrow as Ryan says this, eyes coming back towards me then travelling back to the man across the kitchen from me now.

"There's nothing to thank me for, trust me" is his response and he puts his drink down on to the side in front of him slowly.

"I think my beer pong team is down a player. Go and help them out would you" he directs this statement to Ryan, and I feel my body tense up.

His voice is completely monotone, and the lack of any emotion on his face is throwing me through a loop. I don't know how to deal with this version of him and I take a few gulps of my drink to steel myself.

Liquid courage.

"No problem man!" he pats Nate on the back on his way out and I see a look I can't quite decipher pass over his face.

"I'll see you out there soon, right?" Ryan asks me, and I shrug my shoulders and smile at him slightly, which seems to appease him as he heads off towards the beer bong table, leaving me and Nate alone.

I sip my drink again, hands shaking slightly as the silence stretches out between us. I can see Nate watching me as I stand here and it's the alcohol coursing through my system that makes me ask him,

"What are you looking at" and I realise how rude that sounds, but his response is short and firm,

"You" and he squares his shoulders, looking at me.

"I think we should talk some more. Don't you?" and my nerves hit me full force.

Shit.