2nd Chances // Park Jihoon FF

078

1 week before the wedding.

Oh god. I can't believe it. I'm getting married in exactly 7 days! I have to be honest, I haven't been sleeping well these days because i'm so excited yet nervous for my big day. I know, I shouldn't be worrying, right? But, what if..What if i'm not gonna be a great wife to him? What if, I ruined things for us? What if he realizes that he's not ready for this type of commitment? Am I over-thinking? Yes, That is why, I can't sleep well at night.

I let out a loud sigh as I take a sip of my coffee.

I love Jihoon so much that I can't stop thinking about the things that may ruin our future. what if, I'm the one who's not ready? I don't know. I can't even bring myself to think of that. I am ready and I love him a lot. If I could just marry him tonight, I would.

"I'm home." My mom announced as she walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"You're home early." I chuckled.

"and you seem to be thinking of something rather deep." She smiled and sat next to me.

"What's troubling you? hm?" She asked concerned and pulled me into her arms.

"Nothing mom. I'm just, really happy and it's making me scared." I sighed.

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. The last time I was this happy, something bad happened." I pouted, recalling all the things that had happened over the years.

"Maybe something bad did happen. But also, this happened, didn't it?" she smiled.

"Sure, some things just doesn't go our way all the time. It may not be what you expect it to be when you get married with Jihoon. But good things do happen after everything. A rainbow after a storm, remember? And what storm have you and Jihoon, not survived? You're still here together aren't you? In fact, you're getting married." She comforted me.
I'm really glad my mother is always here to come and reassure me about all the things that I worry about.
She's always ready to give me advices and comfort me.
She always gives me a new perspective in life.
And I just know, that's exactly what I need.

"You're right mom. I shouldn't be worrying about it." I weakly smiled.

"Oh well, I should change. Go finish up your coffee. I'll make dinner in a while." She said standing up.

"Mom?" I stopped her. She looked back at me tiredly.

"Thank you." I warmly smiled.
She simply gave me a nod and proceed to walk back in her room.
Moms, they always know what to say to you, don't they?
 Just a moment later, a call popped out of my phone screen. Jihoon.

-

"Hey love." he greeted.

"hey there." I smiled behind the phone.

"How was your day?" He asked. I could tell he's already preparing for bed. I could hear the water running, meaning he's washing his face.

"It was the usual. Work from home and all." I Chuckled. He came out of the toilet with this sexy smile on his face. I immediately blushed and looked away.

"What?" He laughed over the phone.

"Nothing. How was your day?" I asked back this time.

"Boring because I didn't get to see you." He pouted. He is such a baby, I thought to myself, causing me to laugh.

"Well you're seeing me now aren't you?" I smiled.

"Not enough." He pouted again.
He's so adorable, I can't with him.
We spent a few hours talking on the phone about everything we've been through so far but one thing we didn't talk about is our plans for the wedding and after.
Which is strange cause you guys would probably think that talking bout the important details should be our number one priority but so far, Jihoon and I have not discussed anything about our wedding day.
Maybe we both have the same thoughts, that if we talk about it a lot maybe we'll jinx it? I don't know.

"love?" I quietly called out

"hmm?" he sleepily smiled.

"You won't run away this time..right?" I abruptly asked.
I didn't know how or why this question was even asked in the first place but I just knew that maybe I needed the assurance.

"Of course I won't. I promise." He chuckled.

"I know that, I'm sorry I asked." I smiled back embarrassed.

"Its okay, you have every right to feel that way my love. I've failed you once before, but I promise you I won't this time. You don't have to force yourself to believe me right now. But give me a chance to prove it to you, okay?" He lovingly smiled.
I knew inside that I trusted him.
Yes, I am scared.
But that doesn't mean I don't believe him.
I didn't want to seem like I was doubting him, but assurance was something I needed.
Did it feel like it was enough though? no. of course not. we all know that words are never enough. 

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, worried. 

"Yeah, I'm okay love. I just miss you." I chuckled.
These past few days we haven't been seeing each other much given all of our tight schedules.
He needed a lot of time to do his job and I needed time for mine.
I know, Shouldn't we be focusing more on our wedding than our jobs? we insisted to get all of our jobs done before we go on a month long break.
Obviously, after getting married we plan on going on an adventure across the country or possible, the world.
He said we needed the time off to get the stress off our minds and just be happy as a newly wed which is something I do agree with.
I do think I need a break from everything and just focus on the most important thing.
Us.
Jihoon and I. 

"don't worry my love. in just a week i'll be coming home to you, okay?" he smiled. 

Home. in just exactly a week, we'll be each others home.