2nd Chances // Park Jihoon FF

064

"Jinyoung wait" I called out to Jinyoung who didn't look to happy seeing me following him.
But I didn't let that stop me from doing it.

"Why'd you come after me? Did I not make it clear that I-"

"I'm not stupid. I think you should know that by now." I interferred.
He seriously thinks i'd buy his excuses?
I've known him for years, I know him very well.
As well as I know there's something wrong, and I can feel it.

"Well maybe I don't anymore." He angrily said before stomping off once again.
I was beggining to feel agitated by his attitude.
I don't know if it was the tumor in his brain that caused him to have it.
Not that i'm mocking his situation, it's just that..ugh! He's frustrating!

"Are you being like this because I got back with Jihoon?" I finally asked.
Of course I knew the reason, I knew it all along.
What else could it be?
I don't even want to play dumb anymore, I don't even know why I wondered about the reason as to why he's being like this.

"What makes you say that?" He suddenly stopped walking and spoke with a defeated voice.
Right then, I knew I was right.

"Because i'm not stupid Jinyoung." I replied.

"Yeah, you aren't" he said, looking back to finally face me.
His eyes were turning red from holding back the tears.
All I wanted earlier was for him to look at me and talk to me about it.
but now that I'm seeing him like this..
I wish he hadn't.

"But I am." He added.

"I was stupid enough to not see this coming." He continued to speak.
I listened as I watch him cry.
I watched him break, completely shatter to pieces.

"I was dumb to think that you wouldn't think of loving him again after everything."

"You know why? Because until now, I love you." He finally disclosed.

"Actually, I never stopped. Not even when I had cancer. All I ever thought about and loved is you. It's all you." He sobbed.

"But faith decided to make us hurt eachother."

"Hurt you by having this stupid cancer. I watched you cry, beg and break as I left."

"And now.."

"Now, I have to watch you love someone else." He weakly finished off as he took his gaze away from me.
It broke my heart to see Jinyoung like this.
I never imagined or wish to ever see him like this.
To hear all this coming out of his mouth.
I never meant to hurt him.
God knows how true and pure my love was for him.
But I was living in a lie.
The girl that loved him wasn't the real me.
I wanted to continue to love him, but I was tired of pretending to be someone i'm not, let alone pretending to love someone I know i'm not really in love with..
I loved him. loved.

"Jinyoung..i'm-..i'm sorry." I tried to walk closer to him.

"I'm sorry you're hurting..I'm sorry that-"

"you know, you don't really have to be sorry for me." He cut me off.

"I'm not saying all this because I want you to come back to me, neither to make you guilty." His voice changed into a more calm tone.

"Look, I love you and that's all I know. Hurting is a part of loving but I mean it when I say that i'm happy for you." Finally a small but sad smile formed his lips.

"If he makes you happy then so be it. I just..I just wish he wouldn't hurt you again." He cares. That's all I care about. A smile crept out my lips and I slowly pulled him closer to me. He didn't even try to let go, he just stood there, both arms around me.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Now is the time to say you're welcome right?" He chuckled as we both pulled away.

"I'm sorry if I acted this way." He apologised with guilt all over his face.

"Hey.." I lightly said and lifted his head up.

"It's okay..I understand." I gave him a comforting smile and held both his hands.

"Well..I guess the person we really should be saying sorry to is Hyunjae right?" He laughed. Right, Hyunjae. I can't believe we just left her like that. Oh god.

"Right, We should call her now." and so I did.

********

"And then finally, he and I are okay." I finished off my story telling to Jihoon, Who by the way, I met up with after catching up with both Jinyoung and Hyunjae.
Yes, we met Hyunjae again.
It wasn't right to leave her hanging after literally getting her to wake up early and dress up.
The efforts of a woman should never be wasted.

"I uh..didn't expect Jinyoung to be-"

"I know." I cut him off.
I didn't wanna have that conversation because I know it'll just make us double think about our relationship.
I mean, yeah sure, we wanted this. but we never wanted to hurt anyone else.
and if we talk about it, we'll only realise that we actually did..
we just got back together..
I don't want to lose him just as much as he didn't.

"But hey..It's normal." He tried to cheer me up a little bit.

"Tell you what, I will invite him over for a drink tomorrow and i'll make sure that he's really gonna be okay." He smiled.

"You will?" my face lit up.

"Of course. I don't want you to feel upset about him. I don't want to see you upset at all." He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you." I smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss on the lips.
It felt little weird that i'm just kissing him anytime I want now.
It just feels.. I don't know how to describe it.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

******