2nd Chances // Park Jihoon FF

053

I was nervously scrolling through my phone as I waited for Minhyun to arrive at the place I asked him to meet me at.
I still wasn't sure of what I really wanted to say to him but I know for a fact that I just wanted to get everything done.
I gathered up all my courage and finally decided that I needed to let go just like what my mother said.
If this really is the best way, then so be it.
Minutes later, I saw a familiar looking man walk up to me.

"Sorry if i'm late." He apologised.

"Its okay, I haven't been here that long." I awkwardly replied.

"What made you change your mind?" He asked, as he sat down beside.

"First off, I just want to apologise for what I said yesterday." I embarrassedly said.

"Its okay, you weren't at fault." He kindly smiled to me.
I took quick pause before letting out a sigh and took deep breath.

"You don't have to say anything Seoyoon." He smiled and placed a hand on my hand.

"No. I will." I firmly said.

"I don't wanna run away from him anymore." I looked at him straight in the eye.

"What he did, hurt me. I don't know if I could find it in me to forgive him. But I do want this pain to stop." I told him nervously.
The shakiness in my voice was pretty evident and I hated to be that way in front of him.

"Seoyoon. There's just one thing i'm gonna tell you." He seriously said and held my hand tighter.

"He may have hurt you but believe me, he was hurt too. His heart broke just as much as yours did. He had to spent 2 years, grieving for you. He was forgotten by the person he loved so much, He had to watch you love someone else. He got killed multiple times too Seoyoon." He explained.

"And just like everyone else, he made mistakes. He made wrong decisions out of pressure from the thought of losing you again." He continued, still keeping his hand on mine.

"Im not saying this to put any guilt in you." He reminded me.

"All im trying to say is, Jihoon deserves a second chance too." He pleaded with his eyes.

His heart broke just as much as yours did.

No.

He...broke his heart more than mine did.

Why does it have to be now?
Why do I have to feel this guilt just now?
Why couldn't I feel this before?
I had to hurt Jihoon with all of my harsh words.
I had to make him feel like he was the most useless person.
Why did I have to hear this?
Why am I believing this?
I shouldn't be believing this but god damn it, I do.
I know all of these were true.

"I'm the problem." I sadly said to him as tears stream down my face.

"I'm the one who can't seem to move on from the pain he gave me years ago." I continued.

"I hated him for leaving me. For choosing his career over me. For leading me on. For making me think he didn't love me enough to marry me." I cried harder.

"Seoyoon, I already told you the reason as to why-"

"That's just it." I interrupted.

"All this time I thought he was an asshole for doing all of that. But now that I know the truth, I realised I was wrong." I finally confessed.

"I was hurting for the wrong reasons. I had to hate him and said words that I shouldn't have." I added as I wipe my tears away.
He didn't say a word and just looked at me with pure concern.
He held my hand tighter as a sign of comfort and handed me a tissue.

"I don't know how to face him. I don't know how to start forgiving him." I cried to him.

"Shhh it's okay." He comforted and rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around me.

"All you need to is to learn how to accept him again." He advised.

"I don't know how to start."

"Start by talking to him. You need to talk it out with him. Understand each other, then that's how you'll learn to forgive." Continued to offer his opinion. I slowly pulled away from him and wiped my tears away as I let out an embarrassed laugh.

"I'm not normally like this, Dr.Hwang." I chuckled.

"Please. Like the old times. Just call me Minhyun." He chuckled back.

"Thank you, Minhyun." I weakly smiled to him.

"When you're ready."

"I think I am."

***

This was it.
I was patiently waiting at the same spot Minhyun and I talked.
I didn't know how i'm going to feel the moment I see him.
I wasn't completely sure if I was ready enough to face the person that gave me so much pain but I knew I had to do it.
I needed to stop being so stubborn, I needed to do something right for once and just stop running.

"Seoyoon." I looked up to see Jihoon, standing infront of me.
He looked well.
Just like I did.
But yet he feels broken.
Just like I did.

"Hey." I weakly smiled, standing up from my seat.

"You look good." He smiled.

"Should we take a walk?" I shyly asked.
He simply gave me a nod and began walking with me.

"How have you been?" He asked, we both felt awkward around each other like we were never close in the first place.
My heart was beating oddly faster than it usually does.

"I've been well..you?" I asked back giving him a short glance.

"I can say the same." He chuckled.

"I uh, want to say thank you for giving time to talk." I nervously spoke.

"I've been waiting for this chance. Wouldn't want to miss it."

"Look Jihoon I-"

"I missed you." He interrupted as he stopped at his tracks.

"I-"

"And i'm sorry." He cut me off once again.
He looked at me seriously in the eyes as he took a step closer to me.

"I know. I know that." I smiled to him.

"Which is why I wanted to talk to you. To fix everything." I added.

"I know..Things have been rough. For me, for you, for us.." I trailed off, looking away from him.

"To tell you the truth..talking to you right now probably isn't the easiest thing to do.."

"But I want to do the right thing." I continued as I looked back straight in his eyes.

"I've hurt you and you've definitely hurt me."

"It's just not fair for neither of us to heal."