My mum stands up and is soon at my side. "Jennie, you are a beautiful woman, with your whole life in front of you. Life has its ups and downs. You are just having a down time, at the moment, it will soon pass."
As my mum wraps a protective arm over my shoulder, I rest my head on her arm, causing one of my long curls to flop down across my forlorn eye while she pushes it back gently.
"I'm twenty-five, and as of yet, I've not really done anything with my life. Every single day is the same old mundane thing. This morning, I got out of bed and felt nothing but dread. Knowing that's exactly how my life is going to be all this week. It's a feeling that I carry with me, night and day. I just can't seem to shake it off. However, when I got into work this morning, one of the girls was so distraught. Her best friend was seriously injured in a car accident last night. Mum, it really got me thinking. Life is just too fragile and short. There's a whole world out there, and I want to see a little of it. When my boss had his daily go at me, I just figured that I cannot do this anymore, I'm getting out of this hell hole. So, that's exactly what I did. After I resigned, I took a walk and came across this travel agent's office. Call it a moment of madness if you like, but I went in and had a chat with one of the agents and that was it. Before I even had time to think about it. I had booked the trip of a lifetime to Montana."
Giving my mum a feeble smile, I shrugged my shoulders, accepting with knowledge that she's never going to be happy with any of this.
"Oh, Jennie! You really do scare me with your impetuous behavior. You've always been like this and I will forever worry sick about it."
I looked sideways at my mother, whose hold on me has tightened considerably while looking genuinely afraid.
"Mum, the place that I'm going to is a legitimate ranch. I will be safe, you know?" I assure her, hoping that it will give her a little peace of mind.
I see her grimaced a little before sighing and looking totally unconvinced at my attempt to assure her.
"It's such a long way to go for a single woman."
I rest my hand on top of hers and asked her with a wide grin. "Mum, didn't you ever have the desire to do something crazy like this?"
"Buggering off to Busan is as crazy as I ever got. So, I blame your father for this wild streak in you. He's just the same. If I'm being honest, it was his spontaneity that I found so appealing when we first met."
As I see my mother sweetly reminiscing, while looking out of the kitchen window, I'm thinking it's true. I am like my father. He is impulsive, spontaneous and confident. He and my mum met at the local fair, twenty-eight years ago. Apparently, my dad used to ride around on an old Triumph motorbike, always looking so cool in his faded denim jeans and worn leather jacket. In fact, I've heard he was quite the James Dean of Yongsan-gu.
I turned to face my mother. I hate to see her so full of concern because of me.
"Mum, I don't mean to worry you. But I really need to do this."
I smile at her as the frown on her forehead begins to fade, a little. I wasn't lying either. I really did need to do this. For the first time, in a very long time. I felt hopeful about what my life had in stored for me. Mum stroked my cheek gently and gives me this bone crushing hug.
"I know, my darling, but you are my daughter. I just need to know that you're going to be safe. You will call me, won't you?"
"Of course, I will." I assured her.
With a teasing smile and playful roll of her eyes, my mum looks at me, pensively.
"Jennie, I swear you will be the death of me."
"Ah, but I keep you on your toes, just like Dad does." I laugh while kissing my mum on her smooth yet mature cheek.
Finally, I feel relieved knowing that my mother is going to try to at least support me with this. The last thing that I need right now, is a parent who is going to turn on the water works in order for me to change my mind. Nothing...I mean nothing...is going to make me change my mind about leaving for Montana.
No, I'm really going to move forward. I am now beyond excited and feeling enthusiastic that something is finally happening in my life. I'm so proud of myself too that I've actually gotten off my whining ass to change things and prioritise my own happiness. Not everyone has the balls to do that, but my steely determination is strong, and it is most definitely ready.
