"Thanks." I mumble under a disappointed breath.
"No problem." Lisa calmly replies.
We walk on in awkward silence, to the indoor and outdoor arenas. I'm still reeling from being in her protective hold. Remembering how it makes me feel is just too overwhelming. I have this inner defense mechanism that seems to be preparing for war. The soldiers around my heart want me to retreat from Lisa, run to the hills. However, the more I think I need to protect myself, the more I want her. The confusing unrest within me makes it almost painful to be around her now.
To myself, I admit a silent defeat. "Listen, I'm getting tired. I have an early start in the morning. I think I'm going to head back." I tell her. I really don't want to leave, but I honestly don't know what else to do.
Lisa looks at me. She looks troubled. Her confident demeanour has now all but left her. "Okay, I'll walk you back." she says quietly.
Embarrassed, I shrug my shoulder. "There's really no need...I'll be fine." I tell her. I am far from fine, but my little soldiers are willing me to be strong.
"I want to." she says firmly. As I gingerly walk alongside her with a heavy heart, I can feel her looking at me, trying to get me to look in her direction. I keep my eyes straight ahead. This night has already done one hell of a U-turn, I don't want it to get any worse. It's best that I keep walking...and remain quiet. I hear an exasperated sigh being expelled from her chest. "Is something wrong?" Lisa asks.
I refuse to look at her. It may be dark, but my confusion and hurt is still obvious. "No, just tired. It must be all that dancing." I try to smile, trying desperately to lighten the mood, which is really hard to do when I'm lying through my teeth.
Lisa slows down the pace that she's walking. "I've enjoyed tonight, Jennie."
"Me too." More than you're ever likely ever to know, Lisa Manoban!
We're just approaching the stables. Behind it is an old broken carriage decorated with flowers. I can't make out the colors of them, it's too dark; but I can smell their sweet aroma. Suddenly Lisa stops dead in her tracks. I hear the gravel crunch and scrape loudly beneath her boots.
"Come here." she sternly says, standing beside the carriage. She looks determined, like she's just about to exchange a warring of words.
"I'm sorry?"
"I want you to come here." she repeats.
I nervously swallow. My eyes blink back hard at her. With tiny steps, I very slowly move towards her. Impatient, she suddenly walks at me with such speed it actually startles me. Before I even have time to react, her hands are on my wrists, holding them down by my side. She has me pushed up against the stable wall, urgently kissing me. Hungry, yet controlled, the sensation of those full and inviting lips of hers is heavenly.
I feel my tense body relax as it molds into her, while her insatiable mouth continues to deliver a deeply slow and sensual kiss. I close my eyes, wanting to savour this moment for as long as I possibly can. Her hands no longer restrain me but now rest gently on my immobile fingers. I have never been kissed in such a way. It's a kiss so deeply passionate it consumes every single part of me.
When she eventually does pull away, my enamoured mouth is still blissfully unaware that her lips have actually left mine. For a few precious seconds, I stand there, against the stable with my eyes tightly closed. My craving lips are left completely anaesthetised from her possessive kiss.
In fact, my whole body is deliriously numb. I slowly open my eyes, to see Lisa contentedly smiling at me.
"What was that for?" I murmur.
She holds the back of my neck, resting her forehead on mine. "I've wanted to do that since this afternoon."
"So, did I." she laughs at my reply, cradling my face with both her rough but gentle hands.
"It's kind of crazy, isn't it?" she says, her voice woven with worry.
I life my eyes. "Do you mean this or us?" I ask.
"Everything, Jennie. I don't do this. It's stupid to get too attached. You're only here for a couple of weeks."
I pull away from her hands. "What are you saying?" I ask, feeling a little alarmed by her response.
She looks down, scuffing her boots around in the gravel. "I don't rightly know. Damn it! I really wanted to kiss you, but maybe, I shouldn't have." She runs a perplexed hand through her hair; angrily wandering a short distance but returning back to where I stand.
My eyes snap up at her. "So now you're thinking that kissing me was a mistake?" I glare at her. She seems unable to answer, she tries to get closer but I hold her back. "You kissed me, remember?" I angrily add.
"I know. I'm sorry. I let my heart get the best of me. I don't know what the hell I was thinking." She apologises, angrily rubbing the back of her neck with the palm of her hand. I quickly moved out of her way.
Defensively crossing my arms. I turn to face her. "Just forget it, Lisa...it's fine. As nice as it was, it won't be happening again." I try to keep the sarcasm out of my voice as I pivot around to walk away. I need to get the hell away from her. This is awful. She kissed me and then bitterly regretted it, almost immediately. Things really cannot get any worse!
