She does not answer me straight away. She stands perfectly still with her broad back to me, shoulders slumped forwards with flexing fingers down by her sides. For just a second, I wonder whether she's ever going to turn around, then she eventually does, lifting her face to look at me.
"Was that all for my benefit?" she asks, in a carefully controlled tone, resting her large hands on her hips.
I'm taken aback by her question, no scrap that, I'm offended by her question. "I'm sorry, I don't fully understand what you mean." I ask with a pinched expression.
"Mino." Lisa's lips flatten while her eyes tighten their glare on me.
My head flinches back. "I'm not here with Mino. I am here with my friends...he joined us. Besides, what exactly does this have to do with you?" I draw in a slow and steady breath as my anger flushes through my incensed body. My protruding eyes glare right back at her.
Lisa stands intimidatingly close to me. "You're pushing me, Jennie. Somewhere a person like me doesn't want to be."
I laugh, a disbelieving and loaded with sarcasm kind of laugh. "I'm really unsure where this conversation is headed. However, I do know, I'm not trying to push you anywhere! Anything you are feeling is definitely not my problem...I'm afraid it is very much yours!" I say, defiantly holding my chin high.
Her whole body stands tensely before me, while her eyes deeply penetrate me. She then blinks hard, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand while looking downward.
"I'm sorry. You're right...it has nothing to do with me." Lisa starts to back track. The anger from her appears to have dissipated into thin air, leaving behind a now defeated and resigned expression on her face.
I try to close the distance between us. "Listen, Lisa. I think I'm just going to say it how it is." I wait for her to look at me before continuing. "I really like you. I really do. I'm not going to pretend how I feel anymore. I loved spending time with you yesterday, but I'm not here to play games, either. The truth is, we're attracted to one another. However, we both know it makes more sense to not act on our feelings. I have mulled last night, over and over, in my head. At first I was hurt, but now I honestly do understand what you said to me about us getting involved. You're right. I am here only for a holiday. It really would be insane for us to get attached." I tell her without emotion.
She listens intently, with her arms stiffly down by her side. Now that I've finished, she's unsure where to look, so she turns her back on me without saying a word. I stand there quietly fuming. I'm unsure whether I should wait for her reply or just turn to leave. The seconds that pass seem like an intolerable lifetime. The more I nervously wait, the more the second option appeals to me. I slowly turn around, preparing myself to walk away.
The pub lights are in the darkened distance. I numbly make my way towards them. Without a sound, I feel a hand reach for mine; quickly spinning me round.
Lisa holds me tightly, her eyes scanning the whole of my face. She looks conflicted, unsure of what she should do next. I actually feel sorry for this beautiful person standing before me.
"What do you want from me, Lisa?" I ask, my voice quietly wavering.
She lunges forward, grabbing my face in her possessive hands. "Everything...I want fucking everything from you, Jennie." she breathes heavily against my parted mouth. Her eyes slowly closing before pressing her full soft lips down onto mine. I never thought I would get to taste those exquisite lips again, and because I am, the warmth inside of me begins to escalate.
She's so tender, so gentle. I feel completely weakened by her adoring mouth. I'm trying to drown every single negative doubt within me. I know as soon as her worshipping lips leave mine, I'm going to crave for them again...again....and, yet again.
"Something is happening here, Jennie." Lisa's breathless whisper is heartfelt.
"I know." I whisper back.
She still has my face within her hands, brushing her rough thumb across my flushed cheek. "I've tried to walk away from you...but I can't." she admits.
"Are you sure this is what you want, Lisa?" she nods with a contented smile, but I'm still afraid that she will wake up tomorrow and regret this ever happening. The panic in me rises and I have to tell her. I can't hold something like this back. Nervously, I continue. "I'm afraid. What if you change your mind?" I anxiously ask.
"I won't change my mind, Jennie."
"But, what if you do?" I ask, grabbing hold of her shirt in desperation.
"Maybe this will convince you that I mean what I say." Lisa once again holds me still within her strong and determined hands, kissing me without restraint, like really kissing me. As her tongue slips inside of my eager mouth, I feel my knees weakening beneath me. My closed eyes are seeing stars, deliriously happy, dancing around like they're on some crazy shit, stars.
I've just confirmed what I already knew. Lisa Manoban is holding my heart within her hands. I am in way too deep to ever walk away from her now.
"So, what now?" I ask breathlessly, still recovering from her consuming kiss.
Lisa smiles while kissing the tip of my nose. "We enjoy the time we have together."
"And you really are sure?" I ask again.
Her eyebrow rises. "Do I need to convince you again?"
I laugh softly and Lisa's deep, natural laughter merges with mine in the night air. She caresses my back, looking down at me with relaxed eyes. "I've never done this, Jennie. For you, I'll go against everything I believe....because this feels right."
And she seals her promise to me with another beautiful and cherishing, knee trembling kiss.
