After realising what I had just said, I cursed myself internally and knew that I should have gotten away while I still had the chance. Now, I've totally gone to make a complete fool of myself.
"Oh?" she asks with an adorable frown.
"Um...what I meant is that it's peaceful here...I needed that." I stuttered and mumbled. Shit!
"I see." Lisa says, continuing to look at me for a brief moment before looking away again. "Drinking too much isn't going to clear your head. It's only a temporary fix to forget about things." Her serious frown and authoritative tone makes me feel even worse around her, even more small and pathetic.
My inner defiance resurfaces. "I'm just letting my hair down, that's all." I say with underlying tone of anger.
"I understand that, Jennie. There's a difference between having a few and drinking the bar dry."
"Yes, sir." I sardonically smile at her with a salute.
She turns to look at me. "Is that a smart ass tone, I hear?" she asks sternly. That intense start of hers reaches into my core, belittling me all over again.
I try to stand straight without swaying, but it's proving difficult. "Yes, it is." I'm still smirking, fighting the way she makes me feel so damn inferior in her presence.
"I see." She turns away from me, looking out into the night. I can almost taste her obvious disappointment.
What the heck am I doing? Why am I acting like a petulant child? I nervously step forward with my head shamefully bowed. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be so rude. Just ignore me, I'm stupidly drunk right now." I apologised because I know my behaviour a while ago was totally uncalled for. The most charming person that I've ever met is standing beside me, trying to have an adult conversation with me, and I give her the honour of acting like an immature girl. Well done, Jennie! Great job on pushing people away!
She doesn't react to my awkward apology. "I think I'll leave you to sober up." Lisa turns to walk back into the pub. Without thinking, I gently reach for her arm. Her eyes widen in surprise. I try not to shake because I definitely felt something surge through me as soon as we touched. Cocooned in an electrified atmosphere, the hairs all over my body are on high alert now that I've touched her.
I swallow hard. "I...I really am sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way, when you were only being kind."
Her hard wall softens. "No problem, Jennie. I meant what I said. Drinking excessively doesn't ever suit a lady."
I smile. "I will try to remember that."
She stands for a moment, looking like she wants to say something else. She thinks better of it, slowly slipping both her hands into her back pockets then she smiles. "I'll see you around then." is all she quietly said.
Then she turns and is gone. I feel absolutely lost. The more time I spend with her, the more I feel myself falling for her. I turn once again and stare at the night sky above me. Her parting words mercilessly play over and over in my head. I too, truly hope to see you around Lisa Manoban...sooner rather than later.
