We trot out of the drive and rode down the long ranch road into breathtaking wilderness. As soon as the horses' hooves touch the grass, we wildly gallop. It feels so exhilarating. There's nothing better than being in a wide-open space, riding a horse at speed. My lungs fill with fresh air and my body at one with Shadow.
After galloping a good distance, I see Lisa slowing up ahead of me. Dreamer, her beautiful palomino gradually slows down to a fast paced trot.
"We don't want to tire the horses because we've got a long way to go." she tells me, looking ahead of her.
"Where are we going?"
She points. "Into the mountains."
Panic grips me. "I'm okay with riding, but I'm really not that great with heights." I anxiously tell her. Her laugh is loud and carefree.
"We're not riding up the mountains...just around them." she says still laughing, rocking to the movement of her horse.
"Oh...okay." Shit! Why do I always do or say such stupid things around her! As foolish as I feel, the sound of her earthy laugh really is music to my ears.
"So, how's the head?" Lisa is now looking at me. I only allow myself to hold her stare for a short while, afraid that any longer will make my feelings for her become quickly transparent.
"Good, thanks for asking."
She nods approvingly before pointing at something in front of her. "Up ahead is Prairie Lake. Would you like to see it?" she asks.
"I would love to."
We ride together, towards a beautiful small lake surrounded by many oak trees. It's absolutely breath-taking and I'm in awe of its beauty, completely lost for words.
Lisa is smiling. "I used to go swimming here when I was a kid."
I dreamily look on, soaking up the view before me. "I have no words. It's absolutely amazing."
"Do you want to hike around?"
"Can we?" I excitedly ask.
Lisa gives me another one of her jaw-dropping smiles. "Of course." she says.
We both dismount, tying the horses to a tree. I follow where Lisa walks. Although she's grown up in this place, her eyes are still full of such wonder. She has this grin all over her intoxicating face.
"Is it deep?" I ask, looking at my reflection in the water.
Lisa stands with her hands at her hips. "Deep enough. There's some deeper lakes further on." she says, with a tiny frown just across the bridge of her nose.
"I honestly could just sit here all day long." I tell her, looking around with delight written all over my relaxed face.
"Me too." She looks at me, quickly looking away as soon as I look back at her.
I pull a long blade of grass out of the ground, holding it in my clumsy hands. "Are you going to the barn dance later?" I ask. My heart pounds beneath my cool façade. Will I be disappointed with the answer she gives me?
Lisa doesn't look at me as she picks up a stone to throw, skimming it across the water. "Are you?" she asks quietly.
"Yes, I am."
"Then, I guess I'll be popping along too." My heart literally beats too fast...furiously fast. I look into her amber eyes; they have the power to command me. They continue to hold me. I want to look away, but am unable to do so. Is this her subtle way of telling me that she's going to the barn dance just because I am going? Or she is going...just because she's also part of the hosts' family? Hold it together, Jennie! Don't lose it now! I am trying my best to peel my eyes away from hers. When I do, I start walking through the long grass, anything to occupy my overwhelmed self. I can hear Lisa coming up behind me.
"Are you feeling okay?" she asks softly.
I smile to myself. Somehow, this incredible woman has a way of making me feel so wonderful, yet completely inadequate, all at once. I look over my shoulder in her direction. "Yeah, I'm fine." I continue to walk before stopping to say something else. "You were right, by the way."
Her eyebrows rise. "About what?"
"That I won't find any peace, by drinking the bar dry." I tell her, with a small smile on my lips.
I carry on treading through the tall grass, only stopping to stand beside a large boulder beneath another one of the oak trees.
Lisa is soon standing beside me. "You had your reasons." she says gently.
I look out at the lake, sighing. "Stupid reasons."
She glances sideways at me. "What qualifies as a stupid reason?"
I've never really opened up about my feelings before, yet here I am, opening up to someone that I've only just met. "Doubting myself, I suppose? After a messy breakup and seeing most of my friends doing well in their careers or settling down, it only left me feeling more unsettled." I tell her, reliving how crappy I've been feeling for a long time back home.
Lisa's tone of voice deepens. "A messy breakup?"
I smile, shaking my head. "I'm fine about it now. It happened over eight months ago. Since then though, my life has been like falling dominoes. Just one damn depressing thing after another, after another; life suddenly became too complicated."
"So you came here?"
I look at her...a sad lingering look. "Yes, I did."
I can see her breathing, slowly lifting her strong shoulders. She continues to look at me with such intensity. "It sounds like you are running away to me." she says, not even breaking her gaze with a blink.
"Maybe it is, but for the first time; I feel like I can really breathe."
She turns, a slight smile pulling on the corners of her mouth. "You don't strike me as the kind of girl that doubts herself."
I laugh, biting my lip. "I'm not usually like that, and that's why I felt that I had to move on from my rut."
Lisa lifts her Stetson, positioning it higher on her forehead. "Life is only as complicated as you make it, Jennie."
I laugh louder this time, leaning back against the huge boulder. "Are you always this laid back?"
She smirks, one of her brows deliciously quirks up. "I'm a simple human with simple needs." Her words make me ache. I ache to touch her. I have to suppress the need to reach out for her with my hungry hands.
I look at the lake, needing to distance myself from her before I say or do something else that I will bitterly regret. I start walking back to Shadow. Each determined step I take through the long grass is a step away from wanting to hold her. "I guess we should move on?" I say, untying my horse.
"The mountains are an hour away." Lisa says, walking with her horse behind her.
I've already mounted Shadow. So, taking in my surroundings, I took in a deep breath. Back in the saddle, I feel liberated and playful. I start grinning. "Well, we better hurry up then." I gallop off without her.
I don't know where I am going but I'm just loving the feel of the wind in my face. I love the freedom this place gives me...I love being here with her.
