Inspired by Justin Timberlake's song Not a Bad Thing.
***
I know I shouldn't be here. On my bestfriend's doorstep when I'm supposed to go on a date. The thing is, I did go on the date and it's another guy who doesn't get me. Another guy who's going to use me then throw me away.
The door creeks opens a little and there he is.
"Sirius ?" Remus comes out, wrapping the sweater tighter around him. It is a cold night.
"It didn't work." I mutter.
Remus sighs and pulls me in a hug. "I'm sorry Sirius."
I don't know what he's sorry for. Remus is the last person I blame for tonight's failed date or any of those failed dates before this. He kept whispering to me, saying it'll be better and how I shouldn't even think about this ass of a man.
I was too busy feeling his sturdiness under my cheek. Like a rock I know won't break. He always smells like that specific floral fabric cleaner and books. Those damn books. Now each time I go to the library, I smile like an idiot.
"Wanna sleep over ?" He asks and I nodd.
After a depressing shower, I stand rooted in the middle of Remus' universe. The half finished novel on his table along with chamomile tea if I smelled it right. The ACDC poster on the wall, along with our pictures. Remus comes in holding a shirt in his right hand.
"Here, thought you'd.. like a change."
He doesn't look at me when he says it. I smile at that. Remus is always a little shy around me. Instead, I take a jumper from his chair and put it on.
"I like this one better." I pat the fabric
He rubs the back of his neck, averting his eyes again. "This one's cleaner Y'know?"
"This one...nevermins... hey I'm kinda sleepy.."
I couldn't tell him I liked the jumper because it had his perfume and.. just him all over it. Remus is comfort. A daisy field I run to. But that's your bestfriend Sirius Black, you don't just say things like that.
Later that night, when we've finally decided who'd sleep on which side, Remus says something when he thought I was asleep. Or maybe he wanted me to hear what he said.
Remus' hand slipped in mine. He whispers
"Would it be such a bad thing to fall in love with me instead ?"
My heart rang in my ear. Remus sighed again and I assume he's drifted off to sleep.
As I felt Remus' chest against my back and his arm over my stomach, all I could think of was what if I gave us a chance.
***
I woke up on an empty bed. Hearing clanking in the kitchen, I knew where to find Remus.
"Hey, you feeling okay ?"
I look at him in a different light. Remus' hair was still sticking up in the back and his shirt's folded around the hem. I go to fix it, lay it back flat on his side.
"Better. I think.. I want to stop these dates, chasing people, all that."
Remus doesn't react. He pats my hair and nodds. I couldn't figure him out. He didn't look pleased or sad. Though he offers me a small pull of his lips.
"Just don't settle for less." Remus moves the pan buttered bread on a plate. "I know you're worth more than what they give you."
He brings the plates on to the sofa and starts flipping through channels. Remus calls for me but I'm doing my part with the dishes, to say thanks for the breakfast. Finally done, I plop myself right next to him.
