s e o u l | k p o p - o s

16. TBZ Younghoon - "I don't think I'll ever forget this feeling."

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You waved and smiled at the horde of fans that were currently waiting milling outside the bookstore. You took in the scene before you: the excitement buzzing from your eager fans, the smell of freshly printed books that were ready to be purchased, the sleek feel of the marker pen in your hands.

"No pushing! One at a time!" The security guards were currently holding the fans back, hollering as they did so. The person beside you softly cleared their throat and you glanced up at Juyeon, your best friend since forever and also your manager.

"Shall we start the book signing? Your fans are very eager." "Let's begin."

The next hour was a flurry of events: signing book after book and having small talk with your fans. "Ray-nim! When will your next book be?" "Ray-nim! You're so cool!" "Ray! Could you sign this?"

Ray. A pen name you went by. You politely nodded at your fans that were standing by the sides. It wasn't long before the book signing event came to an end and you packed up. "Seems familiar, doesn't it?" Juyeon neatly packed the various gifts into luggage bags. You chuckled, "It isn't our first fansign, you know?" You helped him, smiling at the handwritten letters before placing them into the luggage.

"A-Ahem, excuse me?"

Juyeon nudged you and you returned your attention to the male fan standing behind you. "I happened to end work really late and I thought that maybe Ray-nim would still be around."

You greeted him, "Any later and you would have missed us completely. What's your name?" "Kim Younghoon." He enunciated clearly. Sounds familiar. He handed you the book he probably just bought. 'Glimmering Tears' was the title of your recent work and you were proud of it, having come up with the book design. You looked at the question left on a post-it on the first page and carefully penned down your answer. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Juyeon neatly keeping the gift Younghoon gave you.

"I brought one more book with me, could I trouble you to sign it?" Younghoon jolted and reached for his bag, fishing out a rather worn-out book. "Yeah, of course!" It wasn't unusual for fans to bring other books to sign; after all she only held book signings once every year. He passed the book to you and your breath got caught in your throat. The bright red title 'The Blazing Sun' stared back at you, and it felt as if it was taunting you.

You meet his gaze as a memory unlocked in your mind.

~ Joseon Dynasty (1392–1910) ~

"Yun's latest copy of 'The Blazing Sun' is out! 10 mun* for one book! Extra 5 mun for a Yun's official stamp!"

You lugged another stack of books and heaved them onto the sturdy wooden bench in front of you, acting as your unofficial stall. "I heard there are illustrations this time!" "I cannot wait to read one!" "It is going to be inspiring as usual!"

Yun. A pen name you went by in the Joseon Dynasty. The ladies in their layered chima** gasped and giggled at the opened books as the gentlemen flicked through the pages, pensive look on their faces. You understood that look: one of hesitation and judgement. Most women were illiterate, but you wanted to put a change to that.

"One at a time! One at a time!" Juyeon called out, waving his hands in big motions to get people to stand orderly. You snapped out of your thoughts as Juyeon huffed, a grin gracing his face, "I don't think I'll ever forget this feeling." "Feels good, right?" You agreed, sealing your official stamp on the back of the book for a little girl.

Working in tandem, Juyeon collected the money and did most of the crowd control as you stamped away, answering questions of the curious fans. Sooner than you thought, the day had turned to night and it was time for you to pack up. The crowd had also dispersed and you stretched your limbs, patted Juyeon on the back.

"Yun-ah, shall we keep the two books?" Juyeon asked as he folded the cloth you were once seated on. You were about to open your mouth to speak, but a lanky figure snatched the book, running off. "Hey! You rascal, come back here!" Juyeon dropped the cloth without much hesitation, chasing the teen. You sighed in exasperation, blaming your padded clothing for restricting your movement.

Pacing nervously back and forth, you chewed on your bottom lip as you decided to pack your things. "Yun! I got the boy!" Your eyes locked with the fiery glare from the teen. "Speak up, boy. Why did you steal it?" Juyeon held the boy by his shoulders. The boy squirmed, refusing to answer or let the book go. "Ju, you're hurting him." You patted Juyeon's inner wrist, pulling the teen towards you. Leaning forward so that you were eye to eye with him, you calmly asked, "What's your name?"

"Yun! He tried to steal your book! And you're here asking him for his name?" Juyeon pointed at the teen in disbelief and you rolled your eyes. "Your name?" You questioned once more. "Younghoon." You glanced down at the book in his hands. "You want to read it?" Younghoon hesitated, before nodding vigorously. You rummaged for a couple of coins and pressed it firmly into his cold hands. "Take this and have something warm to eat. You don't have to pay for the book." You didn't know why you were being so nice; something in his eyes sparked a sense of awe. Maybe it was his fearlessness from stealing from a renowned author like you, or maybe his strong desire to learn.

Younghoon stared at you dumbfounded as Juyeon gave up trying to say anything. "Thank you. I will not forget your kindness." You took a step back. Younghoon clutched the book in his hands, shoving the money into his pocket. He took one last look at you before dashing off into the darkness. "You're being oddly nice." Juyeon pouted, picking up the cloth you had neatly folded.

"Maybe, it's because I'm going to go soon. I wonder when this immortal curse the gods put me will end." "Pft. Yun-ah, that makes the two of us. Stop thinking about it."

Walking side by side, you pondered about this curse. Flitting from one generation (or dynasty) to another, you had sought solace in writing books. Books that served as inspiration, books that brought imagination to life, books that caused people to laugh and cry. Books that were your creation. For each dynasty, you had a different pen name. In the Goryeo Dynasty, you were Mae. In the Silla Dynasty, you were Joon. Juyeon had opted to keep his name for simplicity sake, but you changed yours, along with your writing style.

It was hard to keep partners, for they would die before you would, causing you a lot of heartaches. Thankfully, Juyeon was with you every step of the way, be it as a brother, a cousin, a co-worker and currently, your good friend. Somehow, one way or another, you two would find each other.

"Snap out of it. We are going to be with each other for as long as I know." "You're right." You inwardly let out a sigh, letting your thoughts drift to a realm unknown.

–

"...Ray...Ray!" You felt your consciousness pull you back to reality. Juyeon's hands were on your shoulders, shaking you. "Here." He handed you a tissue and you realised you had been crying. Younghoon stood nervously in front of you. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't know how to best approach you! I swear!" He looked nothing like that scrawny teen you met back then in the cool of the evening.

You assured him with a shake of your head, letting out a laugh. "I haven't seen this book in ages." You weren't kidding. It was currently 2021 and when you had written the book it was just about the 18th Century. You curiously opened the book, and sure enough you saw your handwriting. "You must be the same Younghoon from then." Younghoon sheepishly laughed, "I recognised your writing style. I had an inkling that it was you. But now that I'm finally here in the flesh, I can confirm with my own two eyes that it was you whom I met in the past Dynasty."

"I've been waiting all my life to find you, and now that I did, I won't lose you again."