s e o u l | k p o p - o s

64. EXO Kyungsoo - Always 1

https://yeolsmuffin.tumblr.com/

"Don't apologize for having a broken heart."

Genre: Angst || two-shot

Pairing: kyungsooXreader

Word Count: 5.5k

-----

There was a point when you loved someone too much. There were people who would disagree but for you, it was true.

There was a point when loving someone hurt more than it felt good. Love took energy because it affected your entire body. Your body would produce reactions to even the littlest thought of the one you loved: heart palpitations, tight chest, sweaty palms, and sometimes even tears.

In your case - a lot of tears.

Crying became your pastime.

Normally, you could turn to the person you loved and explain how you were feeling; how you were so overwhelmed from loving them that you couldn't get a grasp of reality. In that situation, you would be comforted and held in a grasp so tight that your heart slowly stopped palpitating and your mind calmed down.

You, on the other hand, you didn't have that.

He wasn't someone you could turn to anymore and that only made the pain more agonizing.

When a break up occurs, the two people go through heartbreak. Sometimes it hurts less than others because sometimes you know deep down it isn't permanent. But when it happened to you...

It was permanent.

That only made it hurt worse. Your hands would shake so much that they didn't feel like your own as you clutched your heart through the thin fabric of your clothes as if your heart was really breaking and pumping less blood to your body.

You found yourself clawing away at your skin, hoping you could peel back a layer and maybe things would hurt less. But nothing made it hurt less. Nothing.

Losing the love of your life wasn't just a matter of stages. No. When you lost the one you truly loved – your soulmate – you had two points. Completely broken and pretending to be okay.

It wasn't the seven steps of grief like the movies made you believe and even a best friend couldn't pull you out of the slump. No matter the dozens of pints of ice cream she bought you or the clubs she dragged you too. You were a shell and stuck in the completely broken stage for so long that eventually, everyone gave up.

You found out the hard way that nobody around you truly cared about your heartbreak because they had a certain time they deemed acceptable for you to get over it.

You didn't miss the way your mom looked at you in disappointment since she had raised you to be strong and independent. You couldn't avoid your dad's worried voice every time you wouldn't call for weeks. Even at work, your co-workers would whisper behind your back at how they couldn't believe the massive downfall you had taken.

Maybe now, four years after the breakup, you weren't where you were supposed to be in a typical breakup timeline but you were trying your best. Right? Well, maybe you weren't doing your best but if anyone experienced the heartbreak you did, would they be okay?

Seven years of a relationship and eventually it came to a startling halt.

In the seven years, you were faced with sadness, happiness, passion, pain, and love. Nothing is perfect even with your soulmate but you always thought that's what made it worth it. The fight it takes to keep love alive was one you looked forward to fighting.