s e o u l | k p o p - o s

180. BTS Jin - Panic Disorder

Tumblr : choking-on-tae

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Summary:

Seokjin is often away due to his busy schedule. You've always been dealing with panic attacks and self esteem issues. Seokjin being the supportive boyfriend he is offered to help you and told you that he'd always be there for you when you need him. However, not only does he not have a lot of time to message you, he also isn't there in person. Your panic attacks and anxiety were fine when Seokjin was around you but ever since he left to go on tour it's gotten worse. You didn't want to tell him because you're scared you'll only make him worry more. You know he's really trying the best he can but sometimes you need someone who's there in person.

Genre: Angst, Fluff.

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Panic attacks and anxiety have become a part of your life ever since you were depressed. You've gotten over your depression but still have some anxiety about things. You were never really a very social person or someone to randomly talk to strangers on the street but since you've gotten more anxious that scares you to beyond. It's nowhere near where it used to be but still it bothers you. Seokjin knows about your anxiety, so you were very grateful that he was the one who started the conversation the first time you met. You had just gotten back from your final therapy session and were excited to go home again. Your past year had been a total roller coaster. You were put on meds, couldn't sleep at all at night and were so ridiculously stressed about every little thing.

You met Seokjin on your way home. Well, actually he ran into you. He was carrying two cups of coffee and spilled them, mainly on you, when he bumped into you. Literally. He apologized instantly and offered to take you to his place to wear one of his shirts. You told him that he didn't have to do that but he insisted. So that's how you ended up in his apartment. He let you take a shower and gave you one of his shirts to wear. During the past year you didn't really give love a try. You weren't dating or looking for anyone, but when you met Seokjin that all changed. You started to feel butterflies again and fell head over heels in love with him. Luckily for you he felt the exact same way.

What started of as a cute romance soon became true love. It had to happen anyways, especially since Seokjin is so buzzy. He really has the best personality. He always tries to put you first, because you're simply his everything. He always checks up on you, if you sleep well, if you eat properly and how you're doing. You told him about your mental conditions and to your surprise he took it surprisingly well. You expected him to back out and drop you but he did the exact opposite. He made even more time for you and checked up even more often than he already did. When Seokjin was around you were doing just fine. You got a job at your local dog cafe, continued your study and if you needed comfort your loving boyfriend was there for you.

Now that he's on tour, you don't have that luxury anymore. All you can do is videochat or call each other. It honestly breaks you, that you can't lay in his arms as you try to fall asleep. You didn't tell Seokjin that your mental condition is doing worse again. You don't wanna seek professional help just yet because of your stubborn nature, so you lie. You don't want to lie to him but at the same time you don't want him to worry even more about you then he already does. So you cropped it all up until now. Now you're laying in your bed, wearing one of Seokjin's pink hoodies as you cry yourself to sleep.

It all happened a couple of weeks ago, right after he left. He told you he'd be back in 6 months, and you assured him that you'd be fine. Which wasn't a lie at the time. You honestly thought that you were doing just fine, but little did you know that that was all thanks to Seokjin. Once he left it all went downhill. Your job which you really enjoyed became something you dreaded going to. Your study which you were doing great at suddenly became all too much. You had to stop, again. Your counselor talked to you about your mental health and he said that it was probably best if you quit your studies for now to focus on your mental health and your panic attacks. Speaking of, they've only gotten worse. Even the slightest things make you panic.