STRIS Bits

Open letter to all STRIS fans

June 31.1, 2022

Fans,
Planet Earth

Los Angeles, California
USA

Dear SWAT -specifically STRIS- fans;

I hope you're having a wonderful day! May this letter receive you in a great mood, with much blessings and good health. I wish I could say the same for myself, but unfortunately I had to sacrifice my fate for your happiness. I hope you appreciate it!

I need your attention. Your full attention! This is serious, fan! You may even translate this into your mother tongue or any of the thousands of millions of gazillion languages you creatures speak. I need to address a very important subject with you. A concern, if you will! For I have been the victim of a careless crime! You out of all people should understand me and help me comprehend why I was subjected to such a high level of cruelty and negligent behavior.

Let me tell you my story because I assume you only got to know me that faithful night. The night of my doom! The night all of your dreams came true, as well as my worst nightmares. Oh fans, how much I suffered! You have no idea how much pain I endured just so you could enjoy a piece of happiness... through theirs! It's unjust and cruel! Somebody must understand my position...or so I hope!

It all started many, many years ago. I was brought up with my brothers, cousins, friends and sisters to provide a home. We were to be the skeleton of a home for a happy family or inhabitants. We needed to provide shelter, cover and most of all, a place that could make them grow and feel welcomed. That's what we did, reader, for many many years.

Unfortunately, as I have seen throughout my existence, homo sapiens sapiens are creatures of trends. They seem to not care about anything except themselves and what is 'cool' in the moment. Many moved out and forgot all about us because it was 'awesome' to be moving around. Don't be surprised at my knowledge of your lingo for I've had my share of TV and Internet moments to learn a word or two from your language. I've also learned that with you it's all about junk food, making unnecessary noises and scuffles. You enjoy confronting each other on a regular basis with high pitch volume fights, hand combats and even throwing projectiles. I have to say for such a high level thinking specie you claim to be, I'm terribly disappointed.

But, let me circle back to my original complaint for it is far worse than being forgotten. In all the years I was raised and stood tall, no one dared to disturb my peace. They placed things in me, hung stuff and even decorated me with atrocious colors. However, when my new owner decided to change things up, I was very happy. Little did I know that was about to change when he and his friend brought a stranger into the equation!

My owner took really good care of my brothers, sisters, and cousins. He fixed some cracks, filtration issues and even gave us a new look. He was so attentive to us that throughout the years he kept making us look better and better. He did a very great job, not to mention that he was a peaceful guy. He did his job and we did ours!

Everything was great, until she showed up. Ugh! She ruined the great relationship with him and his friend. One would think that the more the merrier, right? Well, no! This newcomer was the source of many disturbances that at times caused me to cringe. The irritation was visible as I gave up on a couple of decorations at times, hoping that my dear owner and his friend would get rid of such intruder. I know you absolutely love her, but please hear me out. You must understand my side of the story too!

The problem was that she kept coming back. Over and over and over and over...almost as if I was responsible for her too! With her, it was all about unnecessary noises of laughs, constant use of electronics (usually at high volumes), the almost guarantee smells from the kitchen and...intense stares that could poke holes in me!

I mean, fans, don't get me wrong. I love having humans to take care of me. They make sure I'm alright, beautiful decorated and that my brothers and sisters are fine as well. I understand these characters mean so much to you. The bald one is always serious, which I love; the bearded one hardly comes over at all, which I absolutely adore; the tall dude is a nice quiet one, awesome too; my owner, a surfer dude that likes to talk loudly, but I love him for that; Mr. Dimples himself, who started out quiet and shy but then transformed; and then there's her...ugh! Why, you fans adore her! But...I have a bone to pick with you! Shiny, with a pointing edge! This is serious!

Wait! Wait! Before you get all upset, let me tell you my side of the story. I know you have seen the recording many, many times. I know someone had the audacity to record part of my annihilation! I know a crew was here, filming that faithful moment all of you were hoping and praying for. I know. I know! Til this day, you go back to the recording and it fuels you up for your day, brings tears of happiness to your eyes, makes you fall in love with these characters all over again, but...you ignore me! You ignore all the pain and suffering I went through! You! Just like them, you lived for the moment without any regards to me at all. I had to carry the load! Now, you must pay attention because I will explain my point of view.

I was chillin in my spot, doing my job as usual. I take my responsibility quite serious, you know? After all, my owner and his buddy had taken the time and effort to fix me up...so it was my duty to respond. So...anyway, I was there, just chillin watching as my owner's buddy complained about loneliness and fixing himself some snacks for what promised to be a peaceful night of TV watching and early bedtime. I love those! Nothing like the silence of the night, with the sound of owls and waves in the background. I loved those nights of the smell of the salty water coming from afar, as my owner and his friend snored the night away! An orchestra of perfection!

Until a soft knock on the door interrupted everything. I would've never expected this to turn my plans of relaxation into dust! As soon as she walked in I knew: everything's going out the darn window in a flash! Wow! Those two really had a scene of 'I love you's and hugs, and kisses...and everything was fine by then. The problem came after that! She shot a look...like a fierce lioness! It was incredible the power she had over him, for it took her less that 5 minutes to engage in an intense tongue wrestling match with my owner's friend. He responded with such violence that I was caught off guard. What was I supposed to do? I've never been outside so I don't know what to do or how to respond to such violent acts. I thought; I'm too young to watch this!

That's when my pain began. I received the full on impact of their passion, their movements, their sweat! Even the shadows were killing my brother in front of me. By the third slam I was exhausted! I thought I would cave in!

What are they doing? I thought to myself. What did I ever do to them? Why are they slamming bodies upon me? Why are they smearing their sweat? Why are his hands braising me and the body being pulled on me? How can she be enjoying this?

Then, another sudden movement as finally he got her off me and carried her, but...wait! No! As I started to gain my composure, I totally freaked out. They made it all the way down my backside and now were on top of something that was hitting me even harder. Rocking movements that broke my studs, prestress and even my frame! Everything moved incessantly as they just went at it like animals! I thought black and blue were supposed to be civilized, geez!

Let me tell you, while everyone proclaimed triumph, I was subjected to intense thumping, unnecessary moans and groans, spills of sweat and positioning not suitable even for your screen! I have to say it was cruel and unusual punishment I endured for the benefit of you and others. Yet, I have to insist; it was unfair and unjust.

I expect another renovation by my owner and his buddy, with his 'dream girl' as he kept pronouncing over and over and over again. I'm hoping they choose other spots for their 'foreplay' or whatever that ravish was! The longest pain and suffering I have gone through in my fruitful life, but...

I wanted to let you know one thing and one thing only: you're welcome!

Sincerely,
'The Wall'