Little Do You Know

My Life Was Never Together to Begin With

Three soft knocks sounded through the silent room. Kokichi didn't move by a millimetre, aside from his eye twitching at the abrupt noise. Another knock, yet he still didn't move from where he curled up under his warm bedsheets. He hadn't moved for two weeks, he wouldn't start now. Not a single morsel of food or drop of water had graced his lips. His pale skin begged for a glimmer of sunlight.

A plate of food lay on his nightstand, cold and stale from when he refused to eat that morning. He usually ate one meal a day, at his father's order. Hating his body became second nature after five years of being berated by his dad over much he weighed or how ugly he looked. No one would want to have sex with a fat bitch, according to his father.

Kokichi found the past two weeks odd. It was common knowledge that he couldn't hold focus, that he was easily bored. Despite this, he'd been doing nothing but stare at a single spot on his wall across the room. The only things he'd done were cry, sleep and everything else his body did involuntarily.

Not even slicing his body open. His forearms and thigh remained untouched, something odd as he'd make a new addition to his collection of injuries at least once a week. Kokichi didn't have the energy. Seeing pink and white lines rather than red and brown felt strange and abnormal.

The bedroom door creaked open and Kokichi's mum stepped inside without making a sound. She glanced around the room, sighing softly. "You haven't eaten anything all week." Yeah, that's right, he'd only eaten a slice of toast when his mum ended up forcing it down his throat. He also hadn't said a word, not even when his dad entered the room and beat him for being a wimp.

She sat on the edge of the bed, reaching over Kokichi's limp body to pick up Fifi. "Want to cuddle her?" He didn't respond, he didn't even blink. Sighing again, the woman lifted one of Kokichi's arms to slip the soft fox into them. Without moving his eyes, Kokichi grabbed the toy and chucked it onto the floor violently. His joints cracked due to the movement, but he accepted the pain as a pleasurable distraction.

Kokichi's mum reached up to rub his shoulder, but he swatted her hand away with a noisy slap. He noticed her glance at his eyes before following his gaze. A gaze that landed on a picture of him and Shirogane smiling at the beach. Kokichi loved that day. She'd dunked him under the water, so he bought ice cream to shove into her hair. That day brought a faint smile to his face. How he'd love to hear that laughter again.

"Shirogane wouldn't want to see you like this," Kokichi's mum whispered.

"Keep her name out of your mouth," Kokichi snarled. His throat burned, dry and scratchy after lying dormant for too long. It didn't sound like him speaking, his voice was so hoarse. The room fell silent again, just as it'd been for most of a fortnight.

"Hon, why don't we go for a walk?" The older woman suggested. "Get you out of the house?" Kokichi didn't respond, he didn't even process her words. He only listened. "Please, talk to me." Sighing, Kokichi closed his eyes and curled his head closer to his chest. Perhaps it couldn't hurt. It felt weird to think since he hadn't done that in what felt like an eternity.

Grunting, he ignored his cracking joints as he sat up, swinging his legs off the bed and standing. His blank gaze bored into the floor as he shuffled towards the door. Wrapping a hand around the handle, his mother's voice stopped him. "Where are you going, sweetie?"

He turned to her, looking into her eyes. They held as much sorrow as his with a hint of... Was that humour? "A walk," Kokichi stated.

"You need to put clothes on." Staring down at his body, Kokichi realised he only wore boxers. His room was stuffy so he discarded the rest of his clothes since he refused to leave the safety of his blankets. "Also, put in your contact."