Little Do You Know

A Soothing Night's Sleep

Kokichi tossed and turned, brow furrowing in frustration as he stared at the dark bedroom walls. Throwing up felt horrible, his body ached whilst anticipating another minute of hurling. Now he just wanted more food, but mentally he knew it wouldn't help. It'd been hours since he failed to eat dinner. Now, Kokichi lay in his uncomfortable bed as Saihara slept across the room.

He felt numb and useless. Kokichi couldn't even complete basic human necessities like eating or sleeping. The supreme leader failed and that's all that he could think of, unable to sleep as his thoughts ran rampant. What sliver of optimism he possessed didn't have enough power to fight back anymore and he'd begun to spiral into a familiar pit of inferiority.

Beginning to breathe quicker and quicker, Kokichi sat upright and curled into a ball, not noticing his fingernails scratching against healed wounds. The bed creaked as he crawled to his feet, moving slowly to avoid waking his roommate. A sudden determination washed through him and Kokichi analysed his surroundings for hiding places he'd not searched yet, desperate for something in particular. His knife set.

Knowing it wasn't hidden in the bedroom, Kokichi flicked on the bathroom light and slipped inside, leaving the door ajar so he didn't feel trapped in such a small area. It'd been so long, he'd done so well, but once he found any type of weapon, his streak would end. At least the bathroom door faced the dorm entrance, meaning the bright light shouldn't wake Saihara. Well, that's what Kokichi thought with his bloodthirsty mind.

Tears pooled behind burning eyelids as he hurried to search the cabinets with one arm, scratching his scars with his other. Pulling out anything he could find, Kokichi wanted to scream. He couldn't find any weapons, nothing that would help complete his mission. As he continued to cry, it began more difficult to see. Everything blurred into indiscernible colours and Kokichi couldn't tell left from right.

Standing up with an irritated huff, Kokichi wiped his eyes and caught his reflection. He stared directly at the bright yellow ring surrounding his left iris, a reminder of how disgusting he was since birth. The sight alone summoned a choked sob, yet Kokichi didn't move. Never in his life had he been normal, never had he been able to relate to everyone else. Even small things like his elementary classmates being excited about their first sleepover, or his high school classmates being excited about their first job, Kokichi never had those things to look forward to, and he never would.

"Ouma?" He jumped upon hearing a tired whisper from the ajar bathroom door. Hurrying to wipe away any evidence of his emotions, Kokichi turned and smiled at his roommate.

"S-Sorry!" He flinched upon hearing the stutter. "Did I wake you? What a shame, now you're gonna be as ugly as usual without your precious beauty sleep!"

Saihara grumbled an incoherent response as he rubbed his eyes, seeming to be half-asleep. "What-" His eyes creaked open and scanned the mess Kokichi created. "-are you doing?" Grinning, Kokichi crossed his arms and began chuckling. He tried to sound genuine but judging from the look on Saihara's face, he hadn't succeeded. There wasn't anything he could say to excuse this, except maybe pretending to remodel. No, he needed a meaningful lie this time not a joke.

The chance to think of a perfect lie didn't present itself as a pair of arms pulled him close, Saihara's faint scent overwhelming him. "Ouma," Saihara whispered. Kokichi's eyes fluttered closed as a hand weaved through his unkempt hair. "You're trembling and your eyes are red." Focusing on his movements, Kokichi realised that he was, indeed, shaking like a leaf. How long had he been so vulnerable and unaware? "Have you been crying?"

Kokichi refused to speak, enjoying the embrace as Saihara continued to pat his head and twist locks of hair between his fingers. He clutched the front of Saihara's pyjama top, nuzzling his head further into the man's chest. Saihara's hands slowly travelled down his scalp to his shoulders, then to his wrists. The detective slowly slipped Kokichi's sleeves halfway to his elbows, revealing red-raw skin. "Ouma... Come on, let's get you back to bed."