Lisa
Lisa watched Jennie walk away from her as if it were the last time she'd ever see her. She was broken and angry, but she walked away with her chin up and a stoic expression, concealing all of her emotions as she made her way across the room and out onto the terrace.
She was so damn strong, but she knew she needed to break. That Lisa had delivered the ultimate betrayal and that she was devastated even if she couldn't show it in the room full of sharks. Moving toward the glass doors, Lisa kept her in her line of sight and watched as she walked to the far side of the terrace and subtly lifted her hands to cover her ears.
I made Jennie's world too loud. Me... I did that.
Lisa wanted to run to Jennie. She wanted to scoop Jennie up and tell her she loved her - that she would spend every day of her fucking life making it up to her, but she needed space and didn't have ears to hear her at the moment. Jin appeared in her peripheral vision and she prepared herself for another verbal lashing.
"I was in your fucking corner, man." Jin said in a low voice, trying not to bring attention to them. "But you can't bullshit a bullshitter. I've said some pretty ridiculous lies to get a woman in bed. I know what it looks like, but this..." he motioned his finger toward Lisa and then towards Jennie before he finished. "... this wasn't that. So you're either a really good fucking liar that deserves an ass beating, or this is a misunderstanding that we need to figure the hell out."
"Well I can't say that I don't deserve an ass beating because I do, but this is a misunderstanding. I've never faked any feelings for Jennie. It's all real."
"You fucked up." Marcus grumbled from beside her with his eyes on Dara.
Thanks brother. I'm fucking aware of that.
"I know that, but what could I have done?" Lisa said, trying to keep her anger under control. At the end of the day as much as she knew she loved Jennie, she could have never told her about the intel or their secondary objective and she still couldn't. She hated putting the job before all else and having to keep secrets, but the fact was, that was the life she chose.
"You should have been honest about your feelings from the beginning. You lying to us, to Don, and to Jennie is what got you into this fucking mess. Would it have been pretty? No. Would you have been sent home or reassigned? Maybe - but you wouldn't be here in this big fucking shit storm."
"Yeah well that's real easy for you to say. It didn't happen to you. You didn't have to weigh the options the way I did." Lisa said, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth. "I've been exactly where you fucking are Lisa, and don't you forget it." Marcus' tone dropped and his deep voice was low and cold as he continued. "You seem to have forgotten that Red and I worked together overseas. I loved her more than I loved anyone in this whole damn world, but I was too scared to tell her. Duty over self - always, but I should have at least told her how I felt. Maybe we would have had to wait a while to be together, but at least she would have known without a doubt that I was in love with her. I waited too long to tell her and when I finally got the chance, I had to say the words to her fucking casket as we put her in the ground..." Lisa, Hoony and Jin were all completely silent and internalised Marcus' painful words.
"You have a right now with Jennie and you aren't guaranteed an eventually. If you love her like you say you do. You need to fix this, Lisa and you need to fix it fast. We know why you couldn't kiss her, but she doesn't."
"Talk to her about your job, not the specifics, but what it means to be in a relationship with someone who does what we do. That there will always be a level of secrecy, but explain that it's not malicious, it's just part of who we are and what we do. She probably would have understood that if you would have explained it to her from the beginning. And what makes you think she wouldn't have followed you if you'd have been sent home? You didn't even talk to her, Lisa. You just lied to save your own ass and look where it got you." Hoony added.
