Embracing Her Sweet Lies

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I tried to wake up. I did hurt myself to think that all of this was just a dream. The pain is too much on a weak woman like me. I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I thought I was healing. But here we are now, embracing the pain again. The rage in me got bigger and bigger.

"Back then, you're unconscious in the hospital because of the accident. Doon namin nalaman na... you are pregnant," Mom said in a small voice.

Nanatili akong tahimik at nakatitig sa baso sa aking harapan.

"I was shocked. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko noon. I can't sleep every night thinking of my daughter being pregnant by the man that she hurt. That she can't be with."

"Your father got mad at me because of what we caused. Nagalit siya sa aming lahat nang malaman niyang na aksidente ka at nagdadalang tao pa. But we accepted it. Handa namin siyang tanggapin ng buong puso."

"Then the doctor said that you might lose the baby. Sa hina ng katawan mo, hindi matindi ang kapit niya. We tried our best para lang protektahan siya."

"Pero dumating ang araw na sinabi sa amin ng doktor na hindi kinaya ng katawan mo. You're so much stress, mentally and physically. Plus you got into a car accident that caused your baby's... death," she almost whispered the last word.

"H-Hindi rin naging madali para sa amin ng Daddy mo noon. We stayed beside you whole day, whole weeks. Everyday, we're praying for your recovery. May isa nang n-nawala sa amin. A-Ayaw namin na mawala ka pa..." she sobbed.

"Kaya noong nagising ka, naisip ko na huwag muna sabihin sa'yo because your body is already weak."

"Kaya ba hindi ninyo sinabi?" I looked at them emotionless.

"S-Sol. Everytime you are stressed, sinusugod ka sa hospital dahil nawawalan ka ng malay. Walang araw na hindi ka nang hihina. Your doctor said that you shouldn't be stress. So how could I tell you about your baby? Awang-awa na ako sa anak ko tuwing nakikita ko siyang nakahiga, pale and unconscious. Kaya paano namin sasabihin kahit na gusto ko rin ay hindi ko magawa dahil hindi puwede."

"I do care for you, Solana. We do care for you. That's why we did that."

I nodded. "But to my baby, you don't?"

"That's not it. Of course we do care for your baby too, Sol."

"Then you should tell me! Kahit na gaanong sakit ang dinanas ko, you should tell me! Noong tinago ninyo ba, nawala ang sakit sa akin? No. Kahit taon ang nagdaan hindi na nawala ang sakit sa'kin kahit anong pilit ko!"

"How could my baby die, get buried without the mother?" I cried.

"Ma. Ina ka rin. Kahit ikaw alam mo. You're telling me na ako ang kawawa rito- no! It's my baby! My innocent baby who died because of me being careless-"

"No, Sol. It's not your fault. Please. Don't blame yourself. I'm the one who got careless," ani Mom.

"Solana, calm down. Calm down, please," Zach said.

"Calm down?! F*cking calm down? Really? Nalaman ko lang na tinago ninyo ang pagkawala ng anak ko- sinong kakalma sa sitwasyon na 'to?" sigaw ko.

Napayuko siya at bumuntonghininga. His eyes are red, he cried.

Napailing ako at mariing pumikit nang sunod-sunid na naman ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko.

"H-Hindi ko man lang siya nahawakan... nakita. Bakit... bakit kinuha siya agad? Ang bilis naman."

"At least, they should give me a chance na makita lang siya. K-Kung nagising lang ako agad. K-Kung nagising lang ako agad at nalaman ko. E'di sana buhay pa siya. Kasi kahit mahirap susubukan kong lumakas ulit para sa kaniya, eh."