She's mine

29

"What are you doing here?" I asked Steve as him and Billy both walked in through the door.

"Can we talk?" Steve asked me as he looked at me sadly. Which told me Billy talked to him about the problems we have been having.

"I'm sorry." Billy said in a whispered voice as I looked at him sighing heavily. I didn't say anything to him though.

"Come on. Let's talk." Steve said as he led me outside and onto the front porch. I sighed as I sat down. Steve followed sitting down beside me.

"Nat what's going on?"

I didn't even look at Steve. "Nothing. I'm fine." I said in a monotone. Steve didn't buy it for a single second. I knew that before I even said the words.

"The truth Nat. Just talk to me please. It's me. I'm not anyone else. It's me."

I looked over at Steve with tears in my eyes. Steve looked at me as I wiped my stray tear away and bit my lip.

"Fine. I'm not okay. I can't sleep. I can barely eat. All Billy and me do is argue. I can't get what happened out of my head. I can't forget what he did to me. I feel like no matter how hard I try I'm never going to be okay or be safe."

Steve looked at me and leaned forward slightly. "Nat you went through something horrible and probably traumatic. Of course your not going to be okay in a month. Just let us all help you."

I shook my head at his words. "No. I can't. If I let any of you help me, then I have to tell you guys what happened. I don't want any of you to know what he did."

Steve looked at me smiling. "Nat whatever it is that he did. It isn't going to make any of us love you any less."

I couldn't help but lightly snort. "I know and that's the problem. Billy deserves someone put together. He should be at college living his best life. Not in Indiana arguing with his girlfriend."

Steve sighed heavily. "Stop and listen to me. I was so fucking wrong about you and Billy. You make him a better person and he makes you happy. Sure lately life has fucked you, but I've never seen you as happy as you are when your with Billy. What you and him have is real Nat. Not forced it's real. That love you both have isnt made up. Its the most real thing I've ever seen. Sure it's a rough patch not an ending."

I looked at Billy crying. My tears streaming heavily down my face. "I love him so much it terrifies me. I know when I die it will destroy him, because sooner or later I will die. Kai isn't going to give up. He will always find me."

Steve looked at me shaking his head. "Don't think about that Nat. Don't focus on kai or what he's done, or what he might do. Think about now, and right now Billy is still fighting for to need him as much as he needs you. Go fight for Billy like he's fighting for you."

I looked at Steve wiping my tears away as I nodded my head. I took a deep heavy breath as I stood up and headed for the door.

*you can do this Nat. It's billy. Your safe.

When I walked inside and shut the door I looked at Billy. His broad back was facing me. He hadn't noticed I came in yet. He didn't hear the door.

"Billy?" I said in a low small voice. He thankfully heard me though. He slowly turned facing me.

"Yeah baby?" He asked me just as quietly as I said his name. He was slowly walking towards me. Both of us were staring at the other. I could already feel my breath getting stuck in my throat.

"I'm sorry. I haven't been making this easy for you. It's just hard you know." I mumbled in a pretty soft voice.

Billy closed the distance looking slightly down at me inches from my face. His hand slowly rising as he gently caressed my cheek.

"I know baby." Billy said in a low voice. We were both staring at each other so hard I could already feel the tingles on my skin and my breath catching in my throat.

"You're so gorgeous baby."

I looked at Billy blushing. My breathing already started getting slightly heavier. I knew what was about to happen. Billy noticed my arousal too. The smile that floated across his face told me he did.

"Your so cute when you get embarrassed."

I didn't say anything. I just continued to look at him as my breath got slightly heavier. Billy looked at me smiling as he lightly took my hand leading me into the bedroom. Once he shut the door I looked up at him again.

"Billy." I said is a soft voice. Billy caressed my cheek and looked at me. I couldn't help but tilt my face into his hand as I looked at him.

"I don't know what he did to you, but I'm not going anywhere."

I looked at Billy with sadness as the tears that were welling up in my eyes slowly trailed steadily down my face.

"He raped me." I said in a soft and low voice as I stared at Billy. He looked at me as his own tears started streaming down his own face. I didn't plan on telling him, or anyone for that matter. Yet when I looked at Billy I couldn't help but say the words.

I couldn't help but finally tell him. The second I did it's like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. Like for the first time since Billy found me, it was like I could finally breathe.

Billy looked at me lifting me into his arms. Which instantly made me grab onto him and wrap my arms and legs around him. We were both still crying yet that didn't matter to us. What mattered was that since I came home I finally told Billy something. Anything. I told him what I was having the hardest time with. I finally found the guts to tell him. Which he was thankful for. I could see it on his face.

When my back hit the bed I reached up looking at Billy. Slowly wiping his tears away as he had always done for me.

"Baby."

I looked at Billy shaking my head. "Please don't make me talk about it. I don't want to talk about it Billy. I just want you right now. Please."

Billy looked at me and nodded his head as he reached down caressing my face. I looked at him and pulled him down to me kissing him. The moment mine and Billy's lips found the others we sunk into the other.

Billy went quite gentle and slow. It was different then how we usually had sex. Billy took his time. Making sure to go easy and gentle for me. Even our kissing was slow. He made sure I was comfortable with it being our first time in months and post rape.

It was perfect. The way Billy held me into his body afterwards was honestly just as perfect. I fell asleep shortly after Billy started playing with my hair. I never lasted long when his hands found my hair. It always relaxed the ever loving shit out of me.