She's mine

36

I didn't leave my bed for days. Not until Billy's funeral. Which was beautiful honestly. His dad was a shit head but he paid a lot of money for the very best as he said. The entire funeral was beautiful. Billy would have definitely hated it.

"He loved you, you know."

I looked at Mr. Hargrove and gave a small smile. "I know. I loved him too."

Billy's dad looked at me and nodded his head. "Your a part of the family Nat. Don't stop coming around because he isn't here with us anymore."
"I won't." I said lowly with a small smile.

After a few minutes he got up walking away. That's when max came over sitting beside me.

"We should go Nat." Max mumbled as she sat still beside me. I could feel the tears in my eyes and the buildup in my throat.

"I can't. It hurts max."

Max grabbed my hand taking a deep breath. "I know, but Billy wouldn't want this. He died so we could live. We have to live."
"Why did he do that? It was supposed to be me."
"Because he loved you. He loved us."

I looked at max with tears running down my face as she held up Billy's necklace. "Are you sure?" I asked.
"I'm sure. You love his necklace. He would want you to have it."

I looked at max wiping my tears away as I put on Billy's necklace. "You should go home max. Imma stay for a little while longer."

Max looked at me sighing heavily but she didn't say anything. She just got up walking away. Heading to her mom and Billy's dad who was waiting on her. I didn't move though. I just stayed sitting in front of Billy's grave as I silently cried.

I couldn't move and I couldn't stop crying. I stayed in that exact spot for hours. That is until eddie and Gareth showed up.

"Come on nat were gonna take you home."

I didn't look at Gareth when he said that. I didn't look at either one. "He was my home." I mumbled as I felt another tear slowly run down my cheek. Gareth didn't say anything. I don't think he knew what to say honestly.

"Come on sweetheart." Eddie said in a low sad voice as he grabbed my arm pulling me to my feet. I didn't have the energy to fight him or yell. I didn't have the energy for a fucking thing. All I could do was slowly walk with Eddie and gareth. I put my head down on Eddie's shoulder as he wrapped his arm loosely around me.

The fact that Gareth and Eddie walked slow as fuck with me made me appreciate them even more. They didn't force me to be better instantly. They didn't force me to move on immediately. They didn't force me to do anything. They just watched out for me in any way that they could. Hell anyway that I would let them honestly.

The drive back to my house was short. Eddie helped me out of his van and slowly inside and up to my room. The moment Eddie put me in my bed I laid down. Pulling my knees to my chest and holding onto a pillow for dear life. Eddie covered me up knowing damn well I wasn't going to sleep but he did it anyway.

"I don't know Steve, I've never seen her like this. She barely said two words."

I could hear Eddie and gareth talking to Steve in the hallway, but I couldn't care enough to move. So I just laid in bed. Minutes, hours, days? I wasn't sure. My entire body hurt from being in bed so long though.

So I crawled slowly out and headed for the shower. The second I climbed out of bed my entire body cracked and popped. I sounded like a fucking glow stick. My eyes hurt from how much I had been crying. My stomach hurt from not eating in god knows how long. My body hurt from not moving at all while I laid in bed.