She's mine

44

Billy's point of view

When Nat screamed those things at me I instantly felt like a shitty person. She was right. I let her think I was dead and I didn't do a damn thing about it. She's right I never asked Owens to tell them. I only asked him to let me see them.

"Baby I'm sorry."

Nat didn't stop though. She just walked out slamming the door.

"DAMNIT!" I screamed as I threw something crying.

"Your an idiot Billy. We need to talk."

I looked up at max in my doorway while I cried. "About what max?" I asked.

Max looked at me walking into my room and sitting down on the floor in front of me.

"Don't blame her Billy. It's not her fault. She watched you die Billy. She watched the love of her life sacrifice himself for her. You don't think that shit messed her up? Fuck it messed all of us up. It was worse for me and her though. We literally couldn't cope with you being gone."

I looked at max but I still didn't say anything. I was still crying.

"So she did drugs and drank maybe a little too much. She still showed up for me and everyone when we needed her. The only reason I'm alive is because of her Billy. She took that monster on one on one giving me time to run. Hell if you wanna be technical Eddie and me both are only alive because of her. She blamed herself for you dying. She lost you and she couldn't handle it. Don't throw that in her face. You wasn't here Billy. You didn't see how broken she was. You didn't see what loosing you did to her."

I looked up at max tears still running down my face. "She- she blamed herself?"

Max looked at me and nodded her head sadly. As if she was remembering things.

"Yeah Billy. She did. Every single second of every single day. The only way she could sleep without having nightmares and watching you die on repeat over and over in her head was by drinking. She completely stopped going to school. I didn't even think they are gonna let her graduate. What happened broke her more than anything kai ever did to her. Neither one of us moved on know matter how hard we tried."

I looked at max mumbling the word fuck under my breath as she stared at me.

"You being gone messed us both up. We were both a wreck. She couldn't face life without you and I couldn't do it without my brother. We both blamed ourselves constantly. I do know though regardless how she felt she showed up for me every single time. She wasn't even going to school but she still woke up to take me. Honestly all of us are probably only still alive because of her. I mean fuck Billy she actually begged El to bring you back from the dead."

I couldn't stop myself from crying again as I realized exactly how much pain max and Nat were both in while I was gone. Max looked at me breaking down crying but she kept talking. I think she was used to people crying at this point.

"Look Billy your my brother and I love you. You know that, but I love her too. Nat is like the sister I never had. I mean we probably only have a good relationship now because of her. She's my sister no matter what. I can count on Nat the way she can count on Steve and the way you can count on Eddie. Fix it with her or your really gonna loose her this time. You both need each other more then you both even realize. Don't let her period of grief end what you guys have just because you don't agree with it."

I looked at max wiping my face.

"You know what happened wasn't either one of your guys's fault right? It's not her fault and it's not your fault. I love you kid I hope you know that."
"Regardless we still feel like it is Billy. I love you too and I'm glad your not dead."