SAO drabbles ~

The quest that nearly ruined us (part 2) | Kirito x Asuna

TW: Contains depictions of self harm / themes of trauma/ mental illness / grief

Authors note: I'm throwing my hair to the wind and throwing sleep out the window. It's 1am as I'm writing this so yeah xD

This story is probably one of the darkest chapters I've ever written because of what it depicts. It shows a bleak and harsh reality of one way which the impact of Eugeo's death could have psychologically affected Kirito.

It's pretty heavy stuff.

My last year of university is coming up, so free time will become just a memory...(wow, much poetic)

Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for the constant support this collection of stories has been getting over the years!  Words cannot describe how grateful I am of the support and kind words that I receive with every chapter update! You all are the reason that I stay motivated to continue writing stories in this book! :)

As always the 'END' means its END of the specific story being told, not the book itself, don't worry!

Until Uni grants me free time,

stay cool, my friends.

~ Haru
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As I come to from my in-game breakdown, tearing off the headset from my head, I lie on the cold wooden floor, staring at the cealing voided of any colour above me. My heart pulsates in my head the more my guilt racks itself up. I try to calm myself down to no luck. My breath becomes rapid with anger. I barely question the reason I'm on the floor.

Feeling all my guilt consuming every last inch of my being by repeatedly playing back the in-game events and focusing in on Asuna's terrified expression and the visable fear in her eyes which I instilled by my actions, I clench my teeth shut as tiny drops of tears fall from my eyes.

I lie there, wanting to disapear as the reality of my actions hit me.

It wasn't just a nightmare, was it?

I can't deny the truth.

I hurt Asuna.

I made Asuna feel unsqfe.

I...I broke her trust.. along with her heart.

Damn it!

My fist comes into contact with the wall beside me which causes me to whince under my own breath from the impact of my fist to the wall.

HARDER.

Continuing to slam my fist against the wall, a static pain shoots through my knuckles causing my teeth to grit against each other.

Suffer, damn you, suffer!

Again, I punch the wall.

Suffer!

The force in my punch only grows stronger the more I picture Asuna's tear stricken face. A sudden wave of rageful guilt consumes me as I find myself punching the wall till my own knuckles purple.

"!!"

My fist continues slamming against the wall as I let out a loud and pained scream.

"ASUNAAAA!!!!!!"

HURT'S DOESN'T IT!?

BUT IT'S NOTHING LIKE THE PAIN YOU MADE ASUNA FEEL! NOT EVEN CLOSE!

I hear the sound of my knuckle crunching, causing me to finally freeze and realise the extent of my damage. There, my now purple knuckle throbbed as the now smashed in wall laid in front of me, around the hole, stains with marks of blood.