les sequelles - Eric Coulter 1

57. PTSD

Imagine: Helping your boyfriend, Eric, to overcome his PTSD. 

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You feel the bed shift beside you and you open your sleepy eyes. You see your boyfriend, Eric, sitting upright, gasping for air, and covered in sweat. You get up and silently rub his back, he has tears rolling down his cheeks, and you don't question it. This has been a common thing for the past few months, ever since the war ended, Eric had been hit with major PTSD, he hated himself for what he did especially when he found out that you had almost died. Ever since then, your relationship completely changed, Eric rarely ever shows any emotion, no anger, no love, no sadness, nothing, he goes around performing normal, everyday, actions but he seems completely numb. The only time you see anything from him is when he wakes up from his nightmares in the middle of the night, but even then, he refuses to talk to you about it. The two of you haven't had a normal conversation since before the war, and you were getting tired of this, you missed your Eric.

Every once in a while, Eric will have a sudden outburst of pure rage but after breaking a vase or two, he'll go back to silent mode.

You've spent countless hours hiding out in the bathroom, crying. No matter how much you miss Eric, you refuse to be weak around him; you need to be strong for him.

Eventually, Eric fell back asleep again, and you snuggled against him, but like always, he remained stiff.

The next evening you came home from work and Eric sat on the couch chugging down a bottle of alcohol. Well this is different.

"Eric! Eric what are you doing?" You walk up to him.

He sighs, "I-I don't know."

He puts the bottle down, and you can tell that he's barely even tipsy; Eric's always had a high alcohol tolerance.

"Eric? Are you okay?" You finally ask, he just hums in response, "Eric, come on, please, please, please, please just talk to me!"

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed," He gets up to walk away, but you quickly stand in front of him, putting your hand on his chest.

"No! I'm tired of this Eric, I get it, I get that what happened in the past traumatized you, but you can't let that keep affecting you. I miss you Eric, I need you, the faction needs you!" A few tears slip down your cheeks, he stays silent, "Eric! Speak to me!"

He falls to his knees, and starts sobbing, seeing him like this killed you, you kneel down next to him, and hold him in your arms.

"I just don't know what to do anymore Y/N! I'm such a fuck up, I just, I don't fucking know," He sobs, "Sometimes I just want to fucking die! I can't do this anymore, and I don't deserve you, but please don't leave Y/N, you're that last thread I'm holding onto! I don't know what to do, I want this to end, I really want this to end!"

He starts sobbing so hard, that he can no longer speak, you hold him tighter, "I'll always be here Eric, I've always been here. But if we want to fix things, you have to talk to me, please Eric please."

At this point Eric begins spilling every detail about what was going through his mind; you sit for hours, until the sun comes up the next morning, talking. You spend the entire time nodding, listening, and constantly telling him that he has your full support. Once he is finished with his story, he looks relieved.

The next few months are full of healing, everyday is spent, listening to Eric's problems, and assuring him you will always be there for him. You help Eric focus on the future rather than the past, talking about potentially getting married in the future.

Eric is happier now, and, though slow, he is making progress. You love him, and you know he loves you. You are also happier now; you truly believe that Eric will eventually go back to normal.

"Hey Y/N!" Eric says, as he walks through the door after work that day.

You get off the couch and kiss him, "Hey baby. How was your day?"

The two of you sit on the couch and he grabs your hand, "Y/N, thank you so much, so God damn much, I don't know what I'd do without you. I'd probably be dead somewhere, thank you so much beautiful! God, I love you so much!"

"Eric you don't ever need to thank me, like I said before, I'm here for you, I always have been and always will be."

He pulls out a small gift box from his pocket, inside the box is a small necklace with a needle and a spool of thread on it, it has a few words carved in it, and you read them carefully, 'You're my last thread'. You look up at him with tears in your eyes, you lean up and kiss him, "I love you Eric."

"I love you more Y/N!" 

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From book-boys-are-my-guilty-pleasure on Tumblr.