les sequelles - Eric Coulter 1

103. Too Heavy

Imagine: Being chubbier than the rest of the initiates so you resort to starving yourself to lose weight. Eventually Eric finds out and he decides to help you.

Warning: this imagine is mainly about eating disorders and stuff, so if that triggers you then please don't read this! <3 

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At least she'll make us look better. The words of your fellow initiates run through your head and you take another sip of your water. Look at you Y/N, do you really think you can make it through initiation? You move your untouched food around your plate with a fork and take a gulp of water. You gotta lose some weight if you even wanna live through this Y/N. Your stomach growls, but you take another gulp of water instead.

You had always been on the bigger side, when you were an Erudite, it didn't really matter, but now that you had transferred to Dauntless, losing weight meant a lot to you. As much as you trained, it just wasn't working, so you decided change your diet- drastically. You would only eat breakfast, for lunch and dinner you'd just drink water. If you were especially hungry, you'd drink some juice. Every so often, you'd slip up and eat too much, that would lead you to rushing to the bathroom and throwing it up. You'd snack on gum and the occasional cigarette when you got hunger pangs throughout the day. Most importantly, you worked your ass off during training, and would stay for hours after everyone else left.

After about a month of vigorous training and minimal food, you lost nearly thirty pounds. For the first time in your life people looked at you as a normal person, not some freak. For the first time in your life you fit in. Everyone would compliment you on your weight loss and how good you looked, but even though you felt good about your body, you were not feeling good on the inside. No matter how much you slept, you always felt tired. You nails were always dry and brittle, and your once beautiful hair was beginning to thin out. None of that mattered anymore though. You were finally considered capable of being a Dauntless.

You woke up one morning with an awful headache. This wasn't new, you always woke up with different aches and pains, and you usually woke up feeling more tired than you were the night before. You ignored the pain in your head and went off to training with your fellow initiates.

Your headache grew as you went through training that day, and every once in a while your vision would black out for a couple of seconds.

You were so zoned out when Eric dismissed the class that you don't even notice anyone leaving, you just continued punching at the bag in front of you.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but training is over for the day initiate," Eric states, snapping you out of your daze.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize that-" you suddenly feel breathless -and not just because your incredibly handsome trainer was standing in front of you- you blink a few times trying to refocus your vision, "I didn't realize that everyone was gone."

"Y/N, right?" He asks, you nod weakly, "you don't look so good. Do you need me to walk you to the infirmary?"

"I'm okay," you respond. He clearly doesn't believe you so you add, "Really. I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Alright," He says, still not believing you, "I'm going to walk you back to your dormitory, you need some rest."

"Eric, really I'm fi-" You're suddenly hit with a dizzy spell. Without thinking you grab onto Eric's arm for support, before either of you can do anything else, everything around you goes black and you feel yourself fall.

When you opened your eyes, you find yourself on a soft bed in unfamiliar surroundings. You quickly sit up, "Hello?"

You hear footsteps from outside the room and you see someone step into the room, "Eric?! Where am I?"

"My apartment," he says nonchalantly.

"Wh-what?" You blush slightly, "Um, why?"

"You passed out and I think I know why, I decided that you probably wouldn't want to go to the infirmary," He stands next to you with a glass of water in his hand.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, feeling a bit defensive.

He sighs, "When was the last time you ate?"

You realize where this is going, so you simply answer, "Breakfast."

"Are you sure?" He asks, you nod, "Alright, what did you have."

"Eric, I don't want to talk about this. I'm fine, like I said I'm just tried. You didn't need to bring me here."

"I'm going to ask you one more time Y/N, what did you have to eat for breakfast?" He asks a lot more sternly this time.

You flinch a little from the tone of his voice, but you know he's not going to let this go, "I had the berry smoothie."

"You do realize that the smoothie was yesterday's breakfast right?" You look down and nod shamefully,

"Look, I know what you're trying to do. It's only been a month since you transferred here, and by the looks of it you've nearly lost 30 pounds that's not normal Y/N. I want to know about your diet."

"There's nothing to know," You shrug.

"Don't get difficult with me initiate. I know how to deal with difficult people, and I'm sure you won't be fond of my methods. What have you been eating on a daily basis? How did you lose that weight?" He asks, the irritation clear on his face.

You sigh and give in, telling him exactly how you lost the weight, involuntary tears stream down your face by the time you finish. He gives you an empathetic look and passes you a tissue, you wipe your eyes, and continue, "I just wanted to be normal Eric, I just wanted to fit in."

"I get that, but this isn't the way to do it," you agree with him sadly, "I'm going to help you, from now on you will write down everything you eat and you'll train with me, and no more skipping meals am I clear?!"

"Yes sir," you say nodding, "but one question."

"What?"

"Why? Why are you helping me? Why do you care?"

"You're persistent. You'll go to any lengths to get what you want, and that gives you potential. I want you to stay in this faction, and I'm going to make sure that happens."

"Thank you Eric," You look at him sincerely, "Thank you." 

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