Crimson Academy

Cloud Floating with the Sun

Leaving the headmasters office I'm tense, I start repeating the mantra I've created for myself to wash away the feeling of dissolving into a panicked mess, one I've repeated in my head since I can remember.

I am a cloud floating with the sun.

My shoulders release a little, but the issue is still at hand holding my worries to gun point as I try to navigate my next steps.

Do I tell people or do I not?

I've decided to not, I mean if the headmaster put together some fake ass file, I doubt he's going to be going around the whole school screaming from the rooftop and so far he's the only one to my knowledge that's aware of me. I won't tell anybody who I am, but I also won't lie to them, if they ask, I'll answer if not then why talk?

"What the fuck was that back there," Finn seethes as we make our way outside of the housing building.

"I don't know," and it's the truth I really don't know why the headmaster felt the need to explain things to me like that.

"He's never told any other student to call him by his first name before," Callie mutters from besides me, leading us to a building across the drive. "Why did he make it seem like you didn't know what this place is," Callie asks turning her questioning gaze to me.

"Because I didn't."

Finn makes a disbelieving grumble from the other side of me clearly upset with my answer. I look away from him and his cold mean stare.

Fuck his gorgeous face for being such an asshole.

"Well if you had no idea about the school how the hell did you get in, and why does the headmaster talk to you like you're keeping his dick wet?"

Keeping his dick wet? What does that mean?

I know dick is a slang term for penis because for some reason the girls at the orphanage talked about it a lot, and I know a penis is the mans reproductive organ but why would it be wet?

I know fin is still screaming at me trying to get answers, but I'm confused.

Why would it be wet?

Why would it be wet?

I hate not knowing things that I should and I feel like I should know this, I read many books about the male and female reproductive system when I was about to hit puberty and get my period for the first time.

Which I only got twice.

 But I read so many books about it that I should know everything about them.

I mean I probably know more about a penis then most guys and I don't even have one. But throughout the number of books I've read, nothing mentions them being wet.

I just don't get it, why would it be wet?

I can feel my heartrate increasing, panic overtaking me about not knowing this.

God Jade why don't you know this?

I try to go back and picture the books, reread them in my mind to figure out the answer but I still don't know. The panic is getting greater, and I need to cool off.

I am a cloud floating with the sun.

I continue to try to calm myself telling myself ill find out eventually. That this isn't a test. No one going to beat me for not knowing the answer. I can feel myself calming down more and more.

He's dead Jade, he can't hurt you anymore.

"Are you even listening Jade!" Finns' words are angry, and I can finally hear them through the fog of my thoughts. but before I can answer Callie speaks.

"Could you calm down Finn, why is it so important for you to know!?" Finn stops yelling and turns his angry stare to Callie, who looks equally as mad at him.

"Do you seriously not care that some stranger, that no one has even heard of, is now going to be living under our roof? For fuck sakes Callie her bedroom is right across from mine. How the hell are we supposed to trust some stranger who barley says two fucking words. She acts all fucking mysterious with her dodging questions left and right and only giving a shake of her head to answer!?" 

Ouch, that kind of hurt.

As much as his words sting, he's kind of right. Why would they trust me, they don't know me, no one knows me.

"Don't you think your being a little bit unfair Finn? I mean her life as just been uprooted to this place and she didn't even know what it is. On top of that one of her roommates, who is supposed to be there for her and help navigate this new part of her life is a fucking grade A asshole!" Callie's red in the face as she sputters the words out clearly upset and mad.

When Finn just stands there with a blank look on his face, mouth agape as he stares at her, Callie grabs my hands and starts leading me away, turning behind her to yell a "don't follow us" at the still stunned man.

I feel bad, like this is my fault, but before I can apologize a thought comes to me.

"Did you just swear?"

A shy smile forms on her face as she mutters a yes, "I thought it would be a good way to get my point across" she looks over at me "do you think it worked?"

I turn to look back to where Finn still stands, looking confused.

I smile turning back to Callie, "I think it had the intended affect"

She releases a small giggle as she takes a glance at me and smiles.

"Come on, lets finish this tour"