Circles - Post Malone

Sixteen

Dahlia and Gina get to Austin's show around halfway through his set. Dahlia can see immediately that something is off with Austin. His movements are stiff and he looks like he wants the floor to open up and swallow him. He usually looks so at ease on a stage as if he was born to be up there. Why the fuck does she even care? How the hell does she even notice these things?

She’s slipping back into that girl from high school again. Fuck. Those days were shit, sitting in the back of the class watching Austin and committing every single movement he makes to memory then going home and crying into a pillow.  She was so pathetic and so stupid but it lasted all the way through high school. New York is supposed to be a new start so how the fuck is she finding herself back in that whirlwind again?

No, she doesn’t care that he looks stiff on stage. She doesn’t care that he looks worried. She doesn’t care that he’s gripping his fucking microphone so damn tightly his knuckles are white as snow. She ignores that annoying little voice that tells her to go and stand at the front of the stage. Austin is not a boyfriend. Austin is not in love with her. Austin is in love with Gina. Austin is not her problem. She does not care.

Dahlia makes her way to the bar and sits down with her back to the stage. What she can’t see can't bother her. It's simple logic. She orders a beer from the bar and ignores that her skin breaks out in goosebumps when she hears Austin singing off-key. Fuck, she doesn’t even have to look at him to know something is wrong. Why can’t she just be like other girls? Just fuck around with no strings attached. She is in tune with him - but that means nothing in the real world. She could never be good enough to keep Austin forever. She’s got him for a moment so she should just be pleased with that. She should stop being an annoying little bitch.

She finishes her beer and orders another then realizes that Gina is not next to her. She looks around and sees that Gina is draped over a man, spaghetti arms obviously forgotten. On that thought, Dahlia turns back to the stage and sees that spaghetti arms is not playing the drums. There’s a new guy that Dahlia has never seen before. Had Austin fired him upon Dahlia's request? That makes no fucking sense but then again it does. Austin is in love with Gina he would never be able to keep spaghetti arms around if it wasn’t beneficial for Gina.
Dahlia orders another beer.

Why is she even here?

Austin's band finishes their set and the music changes over to mundane bar music but the dance floor stays alive with people bumping and grinding against each other - Gina in the center. Dahlia doubts that she is coming home with Dahlia tonight. She does not get Gina - she has the perfect man just pining over her and she’s going after men that are nowhere near Austins league. Dahlia squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. She does not care about this shit. She just needs to get Austin out of her system. Then she will be ok.

New York is not a new start for Dahlia, maybe for Gina and even for Austin but New York is only a stepping stone for Dahlia. She knows that she can’t be around when Gina wakes the fuck up and admits that Austin is probably the best man for her. Austin will be waiting with open arms and Dahlia does not wanna be around for that. She orders her firth beer and then turns around to see Austin and his band sitting huddled in a booth. They all look really nervous, Austin is playing with his bottom lip and his knee is shaking. Something has definitely upset him. He has a weird look on his face - like he could either burst into tears or tear the whole bar apart. His eyes, usually a shiny blue seem dull.

The whole band is listening intensely to a man with a very expensive-looking suit. Austin suddenly flicks his eyes to her. She stamps down the want to go over to him and pull him away from the table. Let him fuck her up against the bathroom wall - that would make him happy...maybe. But they are not dating and he feels nothing for her so she rolls her eyes and swivels in her chair turning back to the bar, continuing to sip on her beer while watching Gina grind like a fucking stripper.

After a while, she can sense Austin behind her. Why is she like this? She needs to get her shit together. "You were late," he says clearly annoyed. She owes him nothing. They are not dating. "So?" she snaps, not bothering to even look at him. He says silent which is odd so she turns to look at him. He looks defeated, he can't even fake a smile. What's wrong with him? Dahlia opens her mouth to ask him but then suddenly Gina pops up between them with some weird-looking guy attached to her. "Guys! My new friend, Mike, just got a new job so we are going and celebrate! We’re going to a nightclub in the middle of the city and you guys have to come!" Gina says all excited and shit.

That sounds like shit. Dahlia groans, "No, Gina," she says. Gina pouts and batts her eyes. "Oh please. It’s gonna be so much fun please, please, please, please, please," she says turning to Austin. Usually, Austin would sigh and then eventually agree but this time he just shakes his head and kisses Gina on the cheek. "Not this time, babe," he says quietly. He then turns around and walks off as Dahlia watches him leave the bar. Worry crawling up Dahlia's back - something’s wrong. No. Dahlia does not care that something is wrong, Austin is not her boyfriend. "Ok, Gina I’ll come with you to your stupid nightclub," Dahlia says. She will just get drunk and forget about Austin. "Yay!" Gina shouts, jumping up and down. She grabs Dahlia's hand and Mike's, pulling them outside and to a taxi.

Dahlia means to get in the taxi, she tries with all her might but her feet feel like concrete. She lets out a heavy sigh, this is fucking bullshit. "Gina, I can’t come with you tonight. I’m not feeling very well so I’ll just meet you back in the apartment, yeah?" Dahlia says. "Are you sure?" Gina asks while Mike starts sucking on her neck. "Yeah, I am fine," Dahlia says. "Ok, I doubt I will be home till tomorrow," Gina says giggling as she climbs into the taxi. "I would have expected nothing less," Dahlia mumbles as she heads back towards the apartment.

"Dahlia!"

Dahlia turns to see one of Austin's bandmates running toward her with a guitar. "Hey," he says when he gets to her. "Austin left his guitar. It's his pride and joy. He would be devastated if it went missing. Will you give it to him?" he says. "Sure," Dahlia says taking the guitar. She knows it's very expensive so she holds it close to her body as she turns and makes her way back to the apartment.