Circles - Post Malone

Fourty One

For the next six months living in New York is pretty much the same yet ever-changing. Dahlia feels like she is living a fever dream. It's everything she wants and everything she hates. Something needs to give but Dahlia knows that if she messes with anything the result will be the loss of Austin and now possibly Gina too so she keeps quiet and goes along for the ride.

Gina seems a little more interested in Austin's life and occasionally flirts with him so much that Dahlia has to remove herself from where ever they are. It could be all in her head - but Dahlia does not want to analyze that shit show. Austin and her will often land up in rip-roaring fights that follows with sex. It's borderline toxic. Gina has boyfriends - Dean, Jake, Luke, Tony, Hunter, 107, 109, Kent, and a few others that Dahlia never bothered to learn the names of. She follows them home and declares they are her true love for the next few weeks till she finds fault in them or they turn out to be dooshbags. Dahlia is always there during each breakup - comforting Gina and getting her 'back on the horse'. And if one of the men needs a good crack in the face - Dahlia is down for that too. That self-help book is gathering dust. Gina is her girl and Dahlia will fight anyone who remotely upsets her.

Austin's music has been up and down. It's a hard industry and Dahlia's heart bleeds for him some days. But he never gives up and Dahlia can respect that. Some days he sings off key and the crowd talk more than they listen. Some venues refuse to have him and his band play with them because they feel he has no talent and is going nowhere. They say that to his face. Record labels and music scouts roll their eyes and call him and the band boring or over the top. The band fight and some members leave so Austin has to run around finding replacements, practice, and write songs that he ends up hating. It's soul-destroying.

On those days he finds Dahlia and sticks to her like glue and then when it's just them she lets him bury his head in her neck and takes him away to a place no one can rip him apart. But then there are days that venues are begging him to play, and the line to get in stretches for hundreds of meters. People wear band shirts and everyone is convinced that he and his band are going to be big and soon they will go from these medium-sized venues to stadiums holding thousands. A few times he was even recognized on the street and some people stopped to take photos with him. On those days he still finds Dahlia and gives her a rundown of his day excitably while Dahlia slides him a beer on the bar and rolls her eyes. "I never doubted you for a second Rockstar," she says and Austin beams.

The twins have somehow managed to weasel their way into Dahlia's rib cage. Not her heart, but close enough. The left corner of her bar has become their office and it's usually covered in clothing sketches and pieces of material. Austin arranged a meeting for them with his manager and now has been officially hired as Austin and the band'a designers. They are very proud and even made business cards for themselves. They also watch Austin and Dahlia repeat that what they are doing is just sex and that it has no meaning. They don't judge but they do roll their eyes a lot.

Nessy had also become a constant too. Every day after her shift Dahlia meets with Nessy who spends an hour teaching her about photography. Dahlia buys her silence about her and Austin with photos of Austin that Nessy requests for her own private collection. Austin moans about having to wear spandex, leather, and once even a french maid's outfit. But he is a good sport and Dahlia promises him 'treats' after each photo so he agrees. Nessy and her fan club, which is steadily growing, are at every show and in the front row. They scream and cry and she remains their queen because she had direct access to Austin. When Dahlia shows up to the shows she is either welcomed or glared at but Nessy always saves her a seat and discreetly giggles and says "your boyfriend cracks me up," when he says or does something funny or sweet on stage. Dahlia has given up trying to correct her and truth be told - there is a piece of her that beams when Nessy calls Austin her boyfriend. It's a nice dream.

Then there is Dahlia. Her life sounds complicated but it's really simple actually. Paris, Orlando, Gina, and Austin are her people...even Nessy to some extent. Fuck with them and you will have pissed Dahlia off royally. No one wants that. She never thought she would be passionate about much of her life but the way photography has a hold on her is almost all-consuming. She loves it and never goes anywhere without her camera. She has also become the unofficial photographer for Austin's shows. They set up social media together and Dahlia edits and posts pictures of Austin at his shows. A small-time magazine and blogger bought some of her pictures of him to use in their articles once. Austin, Dahlia, Nessy, and the twins went day drinking with the payout to celebrate. She is determined to get a job and be a photographer. That's now her dream. Gina says that her photos are the best photos she has ever seen. Gina is Dahlia's biggest cheerleader besides Austin. Oh, Austin...she had hoped that in time her want for Austin would simmer down but the more time they spend together the more fuel is added to their flame. Whatever she felt for him in high school has intensified tenfold. They have sex everywhere and for any reason they can make up. Austin once found a penny in the street and insisted celebration sex was in order - Dahlia did the same when she got an extra long curly fry in her order once. They also fight - screaming matches and slamming of doors. Dahlia puts it down to the stressors of keeping their relationship secret from Gina. They always make up though. Austin takes her on dates and tells her she is sweet and beautiful all the time - practicing for when he gets Gina...Dahlia is sure of it. Dahlia has also told Gina that she kicks too much in her sleep so she is going to share Austin's bed every night so she can get a good night's sleep. Gina agrees and apologizes for kicking her in her sleep. Austin tells her not to worry as he wraps his blanket around Dahlia and pulls her close to his body.

Dahlia feels like a bit of a fraud and kind of guilty until Austin buries himself between her thighs and bits down on her neck. Then she only feels Austin and the rest of the world drops away.