Circles - Post Malone

Forty Seven

Austin was born to be on that stage.

He has the entire room hanging in his every note and when he gets anywhere near the edge of the stage Dahlia can see people stretching out their arms to try and touch him. The whole room knows every word to every song he sings, and they scream them back at him. Nessy has sworn at least three times that he is going to be the king of the music industry within a few years. Only big things for Austin.

Dahlia's eyes dart between Austin and the agent. It's halfway through and he is still here so that is a good sign. Austin's nerves have calmed and even though he has sounded amazing all the way through Dahlia knows he will only get even better now. Austin runs off for a 5-minute break and Dahlia gets more pitchers of beer for her group and a cocktail for Gina. "How close are you to Austin?" San asks Dahlia suddenly. "Close," Dahlia says and goes back to sipping her beer. "I get that but how close," San says. Dahlia frowns. What the fuck has her relationship with Austin got to do with this girl. Gina jumps in before Dahlia can tell her to fuck off. "They are super close. Closer than Austin and I even. Austin tells her everything and they even sleep in the same bed," Gina says.

San's eyes widen and then she glares at Dahlia. Fucking hell, what is her problem? San doesn't say anything but chooses to sit on the other side of Nessy with a sulk. "I don't know what's going on with you and Austin but my guess is you will end up dealing with jealous girls more often than not. Ignore San - she is just one of those girls," Nessy says, "for what it's worth I think you and Austin are meant for each other," she finishes. Dahlia rolls her eyes, if only that were true. Austin is meant for Gina - Dahlia is having her fix until he leaves...for Gina. Dahlia turns to try and correct Nessy but does not get a chance to say anything as the house lights go down and Austin comes back on stage. He looks different than before. Like someone has slapped him in the face.

Something is wrong.

He does not make eye contact with anyone anymore and he has dropped too many notes for Dahlia's liking. He looks like he is on drugs or in another time zone. He is pushing through and masking but Dahlia knows something is wrong. She can feel it in her bones. She looks over to where the agent was seated and sees his chair is empty. The cup he was drinking from lying empty on the floor. She looks back at Austin who drops another note as his eyes flicker over to the agent's empty chair. Fuck. This is bad. But he was born to be up there, a performer, so he puts on his best mask and the crowd suspects nothing.

Dahlia leaves her group and makes her way to the front of the venue. She does not know what she is doing. She is just doing something, anything, so she does not have to look at Austin's broken face. She walks out the front doors and onto the pavement, sucking up the cold New York air. She looks to her left and then to her right. On her right, she sees the agent's back as he is walking away. Fucker. Her legs start moving before she thinks about it. She sprints to catch up to him and then cuts him off. He stops abruptly and looks at her in shock.

"What the hell?"

"Where are you going?"

"Look, you seem like a lovely girl but I am just not interested."

"Excuse me?"

"Ok, fine. I will give you ten bucks to suck me off in my car. It's one street over."

Dirty bugger. Dahlia does not answer him but she does pull her arm back and let her fist go flying into his pathetic mouth. He falls to the floor with a cry and a thud. Dahlia can see his lip already start to swell. "You are a fucking asshole who would not know talent if it smacked you in the fucking face," she spits out at him and then steps over him. She stops and leans over him again. "Also, if you are going to make someone suck that tiny little cock of yours make it worth their fucking time. Ten dollars? You cheap fucking bastard," she says then turns and walks back toward the venue.

She can see Austin is still battling but he is pushing through. Fucking legend. She takes San's icy drink and shoves her bruised hand into the cup - soothing her hot knuckles. She ignores San's protests. "We are all going out after this," Gina whispers in her ear. Dahlia shakes her head, "no, I feel kind of sick. You guys go, I am going to head home," she says. Gina pouts but nods her head and carries on dancing. After the show, they all head out after going backstage only to be told Austin had already left.

Dahlia practically sprints all the way home but Austin is not there when she gets there. His phone is off and she has no idea where to look for him. It's a fucking mammoth city and it's cold. She is very stressed. She has never been so stressed about a person before. Maybe her mother, but it's just different with Austin - this invisible thread that attaches them is becoming thicker by the day. It's a real problem.  She keeps trying to convince herself to let go and create some distance but the second she sees him all her defenses crumble. How could they not? She is in love with him even if he does not love her back.

She curls up in the bed and waits. It's a bit pathetic but she has no other choice. Her feelings for Austin have her in a chokehold. Two hours later she hears keys rattle in the front door and she scrambles to stand, watching with bated breath as the door slowly opens. It's Austin. Thank fuck. He stops and stares at her and she stares back. She does not know what the fuck to do. He looks heartbroken. She is not sure but it does look like he has been crying.

He slowly takes off his scarf and jacket then puts his guitar on the stand and turns back to Dahlia. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out so he just shakes his head as his face crumbles. Dahlia practically launches herself at him. Wrapping her arms around him as he buries his face in the crook of her neck. Letting his sobs disappear into her. She will fucking take it too - she would take all his pain if she could. Life is so fucked up sometimes.

Austin is cold. His nose and hands are like ice blocks, and his body is shivering. So Dahlia helps him to a chair when he finally lets her go. She turns on the shower, letting the water run hot and steam up the whole apartment while she strips them both and gets Austin's shaking body under the scalding hot water. She washes him then turns off the water and dries him. Then places him in bed and shuts off the lights. As soon as she is sliding into the bed Austin's hands are searching for her.

He pulls her close to him and tucks his head under her chin, wrapping his arms around her and tangling their feet together. He is at his most venerable and Dahlia keeps him close. She wishes she could change it for him, give him the answer he had been so desperate to get. But she has no answers for him. All she can do is this. She waits for Austin's breathing to even out indicate sleep but that never comes. What does come is his voice - battered and bruised.

"He came backstage at intermission. Said we were average on the tapes but now hearing us live he feels we are even worse. He said I was talentless and had nothing of significance to offer. That the best part of the show was the intermission. I don't understand. It's completely different from what he said at the meeting. I was so angry I wanted to punch him. Life is fucked up."

"I punched him. Followed him outside and socked him one. Busted his lip...he cried like a toddler."

Austin pulls his head out from under Dahlia's chin to look up at her. She can see a hint of a smile on his face mixed with pride. "You did that for me?" he asks. "Yes, I did. You are not talentless, honey. Life is just one big asshole sometimes. It will happen for you. I just know it," Dahlia says. Austin stretches up and kisses her then tucks his head under her chin. "Thank you," he says quietly as they both drift off.