Taking All The Risk

Chapter 30

Maxine's POV

I hold my breath to stop the tears from falling as I kissed my son's forehead. He's sleeping soundly. And I don't wanna wake him up.

But large volume of tears flowing steadily the moment I stared at him and caress his cheeks.

"Mommy's hurting, baby", I whispered as I wiped my cheeks with my finger but new tears fall fown before I can mop the old ones.

I slowly lay down next to Migo. My tears won't stop and I am having a hard time to breathe. I took a pillow and cover it to my face.

My pillow might get wet but I worry that my son might overhear my miserable crying.

I can't stop crying.

I have no control over it.

It hurts so bad.

I've hurt the person that I love.

And it hurts so much seing her hurt because of me.

I hate myself.

I know that I am selfish.

I only think of myself.

Florencio's hurt face kept going through my mind when my phone rang. I took a deep breath before answering the call.

"Josh?", I asked.

"Maxine, sorry kung tumawag ako kahit late na. Ano kasi ... si Flor", he hesitantly said.

"What happened to her?", I worriedly asked.

"Lasing na lasing kasi si Florence. Gusto ko mang ihatid pero ayaw niya hangga't hindi raw ikaw ang sumusundo sa kaniya. Actually kanina pa niya hinahanap at paulit-ulit na sinisigaw ang pangalan mo", he explained.

"What!? Okay. I'll be there. Wait for me", I worriedly replied.

"Sige. Mag-iigat ka", he said so I immediately hung up.

I quickly took the jacket and put it on. Wala na akong pakialam sa hitsura ko. I need to go.

Less than 30 minutes when I arrived sa simabing address ni Josh. I saw agad Florencio lying with her head on the table.

"Josh", I uttered.

"Buti dumating ka. Pasensya ka na ha. Ikaw lang ang makatutulong sa babaeng ito", alanganing saad ni Josh.

"It's okay. Thank you for calling me, Josh. Ako na ang bahala sa kaniya", sagot ko.

"Gusto mo ba ng tulong?", he asked but I shook my head.

"Thanks but I can manage", tipid kong sagot.

"Mag-iingat kayo ha. At kung may problema tawagan ninyo ako agad. Parehas kayong mahalaga sa akin, Maxine", saad nito at tumingin sakin na tila may gustong sabihin.

"You have something to say?", I curiously asked him.

"Max, wala ako sa lugar para sabihin ito pero alam kong mahal ninyo ni Flor ang isa't isa. Kung anuman ang desisyon na gagawin ninyo ay sana'y hindi ninyo pagsisihan. Bilang kaibigan, hangad ko ang kabutihan at kasiyahan ninyong dalawa", litanya nito.

"I don't know what to say, Josh. Drive safe", tanging nasabi ko.

"Aalis na ako. Mag-ingat ka magdrive", he replied then umalis na.

I walked towards to Florencio. Gently put the hairs na tumatakip sa kaniyang mukha sa gilid ng kaniyang tainga. Bakas sa mukha nito ang mga luhang nagmarka.

I can't help but to blame myself. I am the reason why she's suffering.

I don't deserve her.

My tears fell spontaneously as I watched her sleeping face.