our song

s. 16 ep. 36

«ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅ sᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴅ»

29th November. Today is the 29th November.

I placed the flowers on her grave. 

It's been three years since you're gone. I miss you. but don't worry I'm trying my best. Infact I even found my new soulmate. She's very sweet and nice. I like her. not in a romantic way though. I can't move on that fast, to be honest. Everyday I think about you. I know you told me to move on. but how? I love you, Yewon. No, I loved you. Why did you do all of this? Whatever. This is ridiculous.

"Park Yewon. You look beautiful." Heeseung joined me. He also placed some flowers. Wiping off my tears I left without saying a word.

Heeseung was the first person I knew, I didn't know he was my sisters soulmate, I always thought of him as an older brother.

That's how I met Jay and the others. They've been friends with Heeseung and so I got to know them too.

Heeseung made me the saddest. He promised me that everything will be okay at the hospital.

He lied to me. I trusted and believed him, still he lied to me.

I didn't even notice how I fainted because once I woke up I was in my bedroom. Next to me there was a glass of water so I just drank it and went out.

"Hey, what happened?" I asked Jisol, who was sitting in the living room. "Oh god, Jungwon! Are you okay? You fainted at the graveyard." Oh.

"Yes, I'm okay, thank you to whoever brought me back here." I smiled quickly as I went back to my room.

I was bored. Really bored. And I couldn't even do anything because I was so focused on Yewon.

If I hadn't left her alone that night, would she still be here? Is it, is it my fault? Am I the reason she wanted to jump? Was I that selfish, that I didn't even notice she wasn't doing well? I should've spend more time with her. I should've told her I love her. It was my fault. I'm so sorry Yewon. I'm sorry I came into your life. I'm sorry you had to die because of me. I'm sorry for being alive.

I got up again and started looking for the box. Taking it out from my closet I sat back on my bed and took another deep breath.

"♡︎maeum♡︎"

I smiled and took out the letter she left for me. Her parents didn't give me the letter until on new years.

┏━━━━ 28th November ━━━━┓

༻♡༺

Dear Jungwon,

By the time you get this letter, you know I'm already gone.
Let me explain...
Remember when we met at night? I was gone for a while before that. I tried to get myself back together.
I wanted to stay with you. Forever. But when I saw you, I knew you would be better off without me. I wasn't enough for you, I wasn't there for you while you needed me. That's why I'm ending it. I'm sorry I'm telling you this way but I know when I'd tell you face to face you would do anything to stop me.

When I'm gone, Jungwon, don't cry for me. Don't think about me. Find a girl that makes you happy, someone you really like, and someone you deserve. Forget me and move on. Live for me and don't do the same thing I did. Live the best life you can, find new friends, and love again. I won't blame you nor be mad at you for forgetting me. I want you to forget me. I know this is really selfish and I'm really sorry for being selfish.
I'm sorry for not being the girl you always wanted.
Jungwon please forget me.

I love you
Your Park Yewon❤️

༻♡༺

Tears fell on the letter I just wrote.

I know Jungwon will move on very quickly.

I smiled as I put the letter into the envelope and wrote Yang Jungwon on it. I placed the envelope, with the letter in, next to the letters I wrote for my parents.

Going downstairs I put my jacket on and wanted to go. This is my only chance. "Yewon where are you going?" My Mom asked from the living room. "I'm just taking a walk and going to the store. Do you need something?" – "No thank you. But be careful. Love you." – "Love you too, Mom and Dad."

I love you both so much and thank you for everything. You were the best.

I hugged both of them as I left the house. "Just two hours ago you were standing here and giving me a kiss." I mumbled and smiled thinking about him.

I love you, Jungwon. And I'll miss you so much but I'll be patient and wait for you. Please, die in a healthy way.

And so, I took the step but couldn't go on as I fell on the ground.

"Do not make the step, please!"

┗━━━━ Present ━━━━┛

Single tears fell again as I read through the letter. I took out the picture we made, the necklace we shared and her scarf she made for me, before she died.

"Jungwon, are you okay?" I got pulled back into reality when I heard Daniel.

Quickly I put the things into the box again and wiped off the tears. "For how long have you been standing here? I didn't even notice you coming in." I smiled.

"Like three minutes ago. Noona told me you fainted, so I wanted to check on you. Are you sure everything is okay?" He slowly came closer and sat next to me on the bed. "Mhm, everything good." Why would you ask that?
I started tearing up again as he pulled me into a hug "It's okay."

***

For the first time since I know Daniel, this was my first serious talk with him. I never knew he could be that serious.

I told him everything. Everything about Yewon. How I met her, how everything turned out, and how I found out she was actually the one for me.

"Why are you crying? You didn't even know her." I laughed seeing Daniel being a crying mess. "Why did you never tell me all of this?! I would do anything for you." He started crying again as he hugged me.

"Have you already been at her grave? Can I also visit her?" He suddenly asked after I comforted him. "I already went there. But let's not go today. Let's go some other time, I really don't feel like going now." I laid back and looked at him as he nodded "Of course, no need to hurry! We don't HAVE to go there. It was just a suggestion." – "Whatever you say." I laughed at him.

An hour later after just talking and laughing Daniel left and I was alone again.

"What could I do?" I sighed looking at my ceiling.

☁︎☁︎☁︎

Four chapters left how we feeling 😍😍😍

also I have a little surprise for y'all !!!!!!