𝘀𝗻𝗮𝗽𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘁? seventeen

⁰⁴: jeonghan's new year's party

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SCAM SQUAD

hanvenly
so are y'all coming tonight or what 😻

mansol
to a stranger's house? 😧

hanvenly
that's sexy stranger to you.

mansol
my bad king 😗

haodareyou
and this is my competition huh

junwee
hansol is so fine i want him to **** ** **** ***** * **** **** 😻

haodareyou
why am i still breathing 🥰

chanosaurus
that is a good question isn't it 🥰

haodareyou
NAH BC WTF DID I EVER DO TO YOU

scoops
i'm coming jeonghan

kwanbooty
mans out here announcing his private business to everyone like we needed to know 😐

scoops
no you absolute dingbat i meant i'll come to his new years party PLS DONT BE SO SLOW

mingyou
is he ok

hanvenly
no i really don't think so
n e ways pls come to my new years party i have twinks

wonsome
i'm in 🤷‍♀️

hanvenly
drinks*

wonsome
same difference 🤷‍♀️

mingyou
guys i really do think we corrupted him bc where tf was the poor sweet innocent wonwoo i knew two days ago wtf 💔

chanosaurus
i mean...

mingyou
what did you do.

chanosaurus
i may have taken him to my work yesterday bc we were talking about how much i get paid and it got him interested and now i don't think he wants to be a taxi driver anymore...

mingyou
WHAT.

chanosaurus
but that's not really my fault is it? my job is just so tempting 😁

haodareyou
you're telling me this man would rather be an ACCOUNTANT than a taxi driver
what kind of mentally ill do you have to be to-

kwanbooty
oh my poor sweet innocent little fuckwit
he's not that type of account hon he's an ✨accountant✨

chanosaurus
now look what you've done 😒
soonyoung just cried out "not my baby" in the middle of the street and passed out

joshuji
does he need someone to check on him or?

hanvenly
AHA
SO SOONYOUNG IS THE TUTU OWNER

joshuji
why do i bother speaking.

jispoon
wow i'm late to this conversation um anyways there's a party??

hanvenly
yes. my place, 6pm. be there or be

seokstobeyou
square?

hanvenly
no, an absolute fucking loser.

seokstobeyou
got it...

hanvenly
and i swear if seungcheol is the only one who turns up i might just put on a tutu myself

joshuji
well i hate to break it to you but you've already done that

hanvenly
what is that god awful scribble on my phone screen suddenly i'm dyslexic

jispoon
i'll be there then

scoops
wait what's so wrong with me being the only one to show up tho

hanvenly
no comment 💃

mingyou
me personally

haodareyou
absolutely no one wondered cared or asked

mingyou
i'm still trying to figure out what seungkwan meant by "✨accountant✨"

jispoon
oh um

junwee
so when two people love each other very much-

mingyou
WHAT. WONWOO WHY WOULD YOU
HOW COULD YOU

joshuji
girlie's malfunctioning 😋

kwontiger
i never knew what heartbreak felt like until my heart was unexpectedly ripped out of my chest.

seokstobeyou
what happened to hello
my name is

chanosaurus
he awoke from his sudden fainting spell
he's now clinging to my leg with one arm while he types using his right thumb and pinky
i assume the rest of his right hand is being kept stationary to try and give him a false sense of stability
i just got paid tho so idrc 😘

haodareyou
no bc now i'm kinda curious abt how much chan makes

chanosaurus
like i would ever tell you

kwanbooty
open ur dms minghao i got a surprise for u 🤭

chanosaurus
my new years resolution is starting an i hate boo seungkwan club. club rules: 1. you must hate boo seungkwan. 2. you must make fun of, discriminate against, and hate boo seungkwan. 3. you cannot be boo seungkwan.

kwanbooty
my fans just adore me
n e ways

haodareyou
i'm never lifting a paintbrush ever again.

chanosaurus
see now look what you've done
everyone's gna try and steal my job now 😒

wonsome
it's ok bbg u still have the fattest ass 🥰

mingyou
WHAT. HAPPENED. TO. WONWOO.

wonsome
i'm right here tho? 🤷‍♀️

seokstobeyou
jeonghan... i'll see you at your party...

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🌸

it's 1am. i just wrote this entire thing in half an hour bc i was bored. is it too late for a new years themed chapter when we're halfway through january? yes but does it look like i care 😁