Inscrutable {Adjective}:
Impossible to understand or interpret.
Trying to get to know her was hopeless, but he'd be damned if he didn't try.
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*Slow Burn~
(Retitled from Unlikely)
*Stranger Things AU
{Still follows most of th...
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I hate her. Ok that's not true, I don't hate her I just hate how she drives me crazy. I've been trying my best to not let it show that I'm completely obsessed with her but I actually think that this plan has totally backfired. Because now she's with him.
The minute school was over I ran to the parking lot just to catch a glimpse of her. I knew she would be waiting for Nancy and Robin to show up even though they wouldn't because it's Tuesday. Even so there she is, leaning against the car lost in her own world forgetting again that neither one will show. Maybe if I was a better man or able to get over my hurt ego I'd go offer her a ride. But I'm not, and I am hurt. She's acted like the almost kiss never happened. So what did I do? I acted like nothing mattered and walked away from her as I saluted. Not my best moment. But what else was I supposed to do? Sit down and have a mature talk about my feelings? Absolutely not.
So instead I just watch from across the parking lot. I watch as fucking Billy Hargrove walks up to her and makes her smile and laugh. I hate the idea of another man giving her that reaction but least of all Billy. Now I've always had bullies, ranging from incompetent to an actual harasser like Jason. But nobody was worse than Billy. He was my tormenter. He made my life and all my friends lives a living hell. He destroyed our DND room countless times, vandalized my van, and beat the shit out of me whenever he felt like it. Never getting in trouble of course, but I did, especially when I fought back. I was on the verge of expulsion when I decided to just take it because he would graduate and I'd stay here and enjoy another senior year without him ruining it.
But my hopes and desires are being crushed again. Because here he is taking the only girl I've been interested in a long time home. I feel sick watching him place his hand on her lower back and opening the door for her. All I wanna do is run up to them punch him in his smug face and take her with me. But I don't. Instead all I do is watch as he closes her door and drives her away from me. I'm fuming, my anger is uncontrollable. I've never been good at letting my emotions out. I've always bottled them inside until I explode. My uncle or teachers usually at the end of my misfortune. I never wanted her to bare witness to it, but she drives me crazy and the next day when I saw her in the hall I couldn't contain myself. I was an idiot. I let my anger for Billy control my actions and I took it out on her. Even worse I let her walk away. I called her name but I should've done more, I should've chased after her and gotten on my knees and apologized for all my recent shitty behavior. But I couldn't, the anger still present. I want to tell her how I feel but but being angry is easier than being vulnerable. And I can't be that with her, not until I know how she feels. So maybe she's like me, putting up a wall so she can hide behind it. So I'll just have to push and see if I can break it down, because I'll be damned if I break first.
