Silhouettes of the Past | ✓

27

Morning came and my head feels so heavy, I slept crying last night. Dati naman hindi ko ’to kinatatakutan because I know a day will come that my fame will fade pero bakit iba na ngayon? Siguro ay dahil si Kaiden ang lalaking kasama ko roon.

He’s always the biggest deal for me. 

I sighed before going straight to the bathroom to take a bath. I shouldn’t, don’t you dare get affected by it.

It only took me forty five minutes to finish preparing, kakain muna kami ng breakfast tapos diretso na sa shoot. Isang scene lang naman iyon at sa lobby lang siya ng hotel, sa grand staircase.

“Vi, eat a lot, you need to be fully energized para makalaban ka sa glam-BOT.” Tumawa pa si Jolo para lang i-cheer ako, mabilis naman siyang sinegundahan ng buong team ko.

“Glam-BOT lang iyan, Vixen ako.” Pagyayabang ko sa kanila. Tama iyan Vixen, don’t let rumours destroy your dreams, destroy yourself. You are not like that and let them think whatever they wanted.

“How’s the news? So much bashing?” Tanong ko, natahimik silang lahat pero natawa lang ako. 

Why would I be scared? Hindi ka dapat matakot Vixen, wala kang ginawang masama.

“Trending number one ang hashtag protect Vixen at all cost. Number six ang Nazion is with you.” Tumango ako.

Nazion is my fandom name. Although I use Vixen on stage, people who believes in me found a creative way of calling themselves. It came from my second name Arriadnaze. 

I sighed a relief, there are people who believe in me. And even if I am left with a person by my side, my music will never stop, as long as someone wants to listen, as long as I can express myself. As long as music is my home. 

“How about cancel Vixen?” I asked still curious.

“Number five.” Rinna announced.

“Someone told me, oderint dum metuant. In English, let them hate so long as they fear.” I smiled. 

“Isa pa, it’s part of the showbusiness industry, when you show them you’re affected, talo ka. Hayaan mo sila, hayaan niyo sila. They are the reasons why I strive to be better. Masakit ang mga salita nila, pero sila ang isa sa mga dahilan bakit gusto kong magpatuloy. One day, they’ll swallow all their hatred about me.”

After eating we paused and shared stories for few minutes before we started separating ways to prepare for the shoot.

I was looking straight at the full length mirror inches away from me, I looked dashing. I was wearing a night blue off shoulder ball gown.

I looked like a princess but according to the concept, the shots here will be black and white and on the latter part of the video, sa last chorus saka lang siya magiging colored. That’s when I finally land to where I wanna be.

Black and white siya since it was in my dreams, parang bandang unahan ipapakita na tulog ako. Hindi ko rin alam ang buong flow honestly, kasi hindi ako ang nag-direct pero soon, ako naman.

“Bow down to your queen peasants!” Sigaw ni Seah nang marating ko ang pinakatuktok na baitang, nasa ibaba ang lahat at maging ang mga crew ng hotel ay nakapanood sa amin.

“Baba ka from there papunta. . .” Umakyat iyong direktor sa pinakagitnang bahagi ng staircase.

“Dito. Stop ka dito then gagawin natin iyong glam-BOT. Isipin mo you’re in a Hollywood red carpet. Bridge part ito Vi.” Tumango ako sa kaniya habang iniisip kung ano ang gagawin kong pose mamaya.