Skulls and Scars

Crossroads.

I woke up naturally, feeling my face a bit swollen up. I had no idea what time it was; all I could see was that Ghost was next to me, still maskless, staring at me with those beautiful glistening brown eyes. It felt nice to see him with me. I felt safe. My immediate reaction was to line out a smile. 

- Hey, sweetie.

- Hi, Simon...

- Did you rest?

- I did... Thank you for being with me. - I snuggled closer to him, enjoying the warmth of his body.

- Good to know. - he kissed my forehead, caressing my back up and down on my spine. - Are you hungry?

- A little... 

- Okay then. - he got up, getting ahold of his mask. - I'll cook up something for you.

- I'll go with you! - I blurted out, feeling my heart accelerate.

He looked at me, trying to figure it out my sudden decision. I tied up my hair in a ponytail and took a deep breath. As soon as we left the room, I felt my stomach churn and whatever it had inside just emerged throughout my esophagus. I covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom, where I threw up in the toilet everything that I didn't digest. Ghost grabbed a hand towel and gave it to me, so I could clean up my mouth.

- I'm sorry about that, Simon...

- Don't be. It's okay. - he caressed the back of my neck. 

- No, it's not... - I coughed and choked a bit. - I need to put myself together; I don't want to be a dead weight!

- You're not. Take your mind out of that idea.

- I'll try... But still...

I washed my mouth and followed Ghost to the kitchen. All eyes were on me.
I didn't care if they were looking; I just didn't want to be by myself. I've sat down on the couch, hugging a cushion. Ghost started preparing something, while Soap was drinking a beer, watching the local channel on the tv. The cartel was unraveling chaos in the city.

- Did you get some rest, lassie?

- ... I did.

- Want to talk about it?

- What you mean? - I side eyed Johnny, intrigued with his question.

- About what happened in that cabin... 

- It was exactly what you saw, Soap. - my tone was a bit aggressive for no reason. - A random pervert kidnapped me and tried to rape me. I overkilled him. What else it has to talk about?

- Sorry for that... I'll shut up.

I felt bad for reacting defensively towards MacTavish. He was just trying to be a good friend, and I took out of proportion. I was definitely not okay... And everyone knew it. I felt Mr. Price staring at me, I didn't have the courage to stare back. Ghost brought some snacks and a can of soda. My stomach growled.

- Thank you... - I smiled, he just nodded.

The awkward silence was bothersome; although Gaz, Keegan, Alejandro and Rodolfo were out on mission. I quietly ate my snacks while watching tv. Ghost was providing support on the comms with Mr. Price, keeping tabs on the rest of the team. Soap was on his fourth beer can, chugging down one after the other. He was obviously drinking his anxiety away. I needed to get some fresh air in my lungs, so I decided to go to the backyard; I noticed the last time I was there that it had a hammock installed. Ghost followed me with his eyes; worried. I only mouthed "I'm going to chill in the backyard" and he nodded, with a relieved gaze.

The sun was setting down, the weather was good enough to relax.  I've laid down in the hammock, feeling a sense of comfort right off the bat... After all these years, for a moment I missed my homeland. Las Almas reminded me of Brazil in so many aspects that it hurt my heart a bit. I sighed, looking forward to not delving into my emotions. I needed to rest; I needed peace.